Want To Feel Better About Yourself? Five Thoughts I Think Only I Think!

Hi and welcome to episode 5 of this 5/5/5 mini series that I created to help people feel less alone, to bring a smile to their face and to bring some joy to their day. 

Our minds can often be a lonely place. In sharing five thoughts that I think only I think, I wanted to de-mystify how our minds work and how in reality, there are probably lots of people with the same thoughts as you - you just don't realise it - and that can be horribly isolating. 

So join me as I share my five thoughts. Even if you don't identify with them exactly, hopefully they will help to paint a picture for you which feels a little more rosy! 

Transcript

0:02

Hi, I am Beth and this is my podcast, A Friend in Your Ear. Friends are so important in our lives. They support us through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. They give us the space to grow and the grace to fail. They are our biggest cheerleaders when we are our harshest critics. They're not just here for us, but they're here with us. And that's what this podcast is all about, being a friend in your ear. I'm a lawyer turned stylist and fashion blogger who built a successful styling business, and now I work from home running an online business. I spend a lot of time reading books, listening to audiobooks and listening to podcasts. My favourite podcasts offer me advice, comfort, support, wisdom, and fun when my real life friends are busy. And this is a place where I can take what I've learnt and deliver it in a way that hopefully makes your life easier, gives you something to ponder and brings a little joy to your day. Think of this as a chat with a friend, A place where you can come to reminisce for nostalgia, a giggle and a place to find answers to something that might be bothering you. So whether you are out on a run or a walk on the school run, being a taxi to your kids or grandkids on a Zoom meeting with your microphone muted or sitting with a glass of something cold in your hand. Welcome to the A Friend In Your Ear podcast. Hi. And welcome to day five of this podcast mini series. We've made it a Friday. Thanks so much if you've been here for the entirety of the week. And if you haven't, you might like to go back and listen to the previous episodes that we're running Monday through to Thursday. The aim of this podcast series was really to make you feel more positive about yourself, your life, to feel less alone. To realize, or to make us all realize that we're in the same boat. Where in the same corner and hopefully we're singing from the same hymn sheet. Now, if that's not a load of mixed metaphors or whatever they may be, then I don't know what is, but what I do want to make anyone feel like that isolated or alone, I think sometimes we do have those little thoughts that creep into our heads. And sometimes we do just fail on our own. There's no denying that. So the aim of this series was to give you the inner workings of my mind, whether that was things that I was really fearful of things. I was really rubbish. Things that I thought I was good at, which was a really challenging episode for me to do, because we don't often talk about things we're good at, and it doesn't come naturally to us. And then five spiritual practices, which just helped me. I get through the day on a little bit more of an even keel. And then the last episode, which is this episode is five thoughts. I think only, I think. Now again, let's try and get our head around that and unscramble that one if we can. But I think we all have thoughts and we think we're the only person thinking that, and that's where the isolation and the separation can set in. So I thought, well, if I share five thoughts that I think only I have, and then you have them as well, it might make you go, oh, golly, it's not just me then. And that is the purpose of this podcast mini series for you to go. Oh, it's not just me. I was at was perfectly normal. Oh. Other people do feel like that. Oh, I'm not alone in thinking this that's really what I'm trying to achieve. Whether I've managed that or not, who knows? I've have some lovely reviews and some lovely comments. So I'm hoping that I'm along the right track. And I hope you've enjoyed this. And if you've got any feedback, please let me know because it'd be great to do another one. Okay. So now that I've established that I'm going to dive in with these five stores by actually. I mean, I'm going off piece before we even started sharing two thoughts that have come my way this week, which actually just made me laugh and they're from other people. And then the five sorts I'm sharing are actually a bit of an amalgamation of my thoughts, my friend's thoughts, because I thought I'll just put it out there and see what people think. So the first thought this was my mum yesterday. Okay. Picture the scene. I've driven the night before three hours from Wales in the dog to go and stay with her overnight. So I stayed with her overnight and then we get up and we leave and we drive three hours down to north London in the pouring rain to go and see her sister. Who is 87 and who she hasn't seen for a good few months. And then we leave to drive back another three hours in the pouring rain before I drop my mom off. And then I drive another hour home in the pouring rain. There was a lot of rain. There was a lot of spray, but I was having some lovely chats with my mom in the car. And she said to me, Actually let me set the scene a little bit more. She lives in a tiny little bungalow. It's like a doll's house. She's got everything she needs in that bungalow. And it is so well-equipped, she's got. Amazing storage and everything you could ever need is in the right room. So I had a shower and I opened the cupboard under the basin and there was something there to wipe the shower screen. And there's a little Hoover in there and there's a shower cap, and there's everything that you could need. So anyway, she's got this tiny, tiny little bathroom. We're sitting in the car, in the pouring rain with all this spray going around us, I'm trying to concentrate and the wipers are wrong. And she said, she said, Every time I go in my bathroom. I wonder what Elton John would think too. Mum. Whoa. What are you talking about? She said, yeah. Every time I go in my bathroom. I wonder what Elton John would make of my bathroom. Would he like it? I just thought, well, if that isn't the perfect example of a thought. That only she things then I don't know what is, and I said to her, well, mum, It's got everything in there that he could possibly need. If he was desperate for a loo, he would love your bathroom and he can keep himself clean in your bathroom. So I'm sure Elton would love your pale pink bathroom. I think he think it was gorgeous. I don't know why Elton in particular, I think it's because she grew up in the same area as him and one of her friend's mums knew his mum. So I think Elton is a bit of a thing with my mum, but anyway, so that was the first one would Elton John, like my bathroom. The second thought comes entirely from my children. I'm not sure which one, but one of them had sat there thinking. And come up with the following. If you clean a vacuum cleaner. You are a vacuum cleaner. So that we have it. Another example of a thought that probably only one person is thinking. But moving on. Two more. Of the kind of thought that I was planning on sharing with you. So here it goes with the first one. Now, this is a thought that a couple of my friends have to a certain degree. And basically one of my friends said that when she goes to bed at night, she plays over and over and over again. Things that she said. All done during the course of the day. And one does what people think about what she has said or done during the course of the day. So I mentioned this to another friend and she said, oh no, no, no, no, no. I don't even get to bed before I start to wonder about those things. I wonder about them the minute that I've said them all the minute that I've done them. So just to say. If you fall into this category, if this is something that you experience on a daily basis. Don't think that you're the only one who thinks like this it's really, really common. So that's the first one going over and over again, things that you've said or things that you've done and just analyzing it to death. Now the second one, this was quite an interesting one because I have a recurring dream and I wake up and something has happened, which means I no longer live in my house. Either I've been forced to sell it, or somebody has taken me away from it. And what happens is I'm standing at the bottom of the garden. I'm looking back to it and just going, I'm never going to go in that house anymore. It's not my home anymore. And I'm really, really devastated because I didn't get time to say goodbye. Didn't get time to pack up. I didn't get time to disentangle myself from it. And the memories. And I mentioned this when I was at breakfast the other day with some friends and all of them sitting around the table have had exactly the same dream. It was really bizarre. I definitely thought that was something that was unique to me, that everyone would laugh at me. If I mentioned it. I never thought for a second, that other people would have this dream. And there were four of us there and 100% of us had exactly the same dream. Now, whether that means that we're all. Slightly odd in the dreams we have or were over attached to our homes or we're just home birds. We love our houses. I don't know what it is. But all of us had had this same dream. So if you have that dream. Don't worry. You're not alone. Please share with me if you have that dream, because I know how awful it feels. And I don't know about you. I'm one of those people. If I wake up having had a bad dream, it can stay with me for the rest of the day. Or even a couple of days. I had this awful dream recently that don't laugh. Honestly. I can't believe I'm going to share this, but it kind of links back. To my first biggest fear, which I talked about on Wednesday, I had a dream and it was so vivid. That my husband was standing on the bank of a river and he got dragged in by a crocodile. And I remember having this dream. And I woke myself up from it to the point that I actually got out of bed, went to the loo. I did a couple of other things checked. A couple of things got back into bed, went back to sleep and the dream carried on. And I was so traumatized the next day. I was really cross with him as well, because he'd been taunting this crocodile and then it ate him. And he was wearing this red north face t-shirt. And I've said to him, you can't wear that red north face. T-shirt again, I just can't. I can't see you in it. It's just too distressing for me is too traumatic. So that's more about dreams and whether they impact on how you feel during the rest of the day. And maybe that is a thought, maybe you think I'm the only person. Who can feel rubbish for hours and hours and hours after dream. But let me tell you, I am there with you. I can feel awful after I've had a very bad dream. Moving onto the third one. So both a friend and I have this one, we've both talked about this and it's a really weird one. So if either of us are ill, say we've got something like flu or a cold or an injury, we'll both assume that we're putting it on. And it's almost as if we need affirmation from someone else that we're not putting it on. We want somebody to say, yes, you are real. And you do need to go to bed for a couple of days because. I don't know about you, but I get in that stage and I think. I'm not really. I laugh. I'll be fine. I'll just get up and I'll carry on and I'll get on with it and stop making a fuss. And it's only when you're better that you look back and go. Oh, flip me. I really Basel. I remember having a virus once it went on for a couple of weeks and I was just thinking you putting it on you making it up. There's nothing wrong with you. You just need to get out of bed. Crack on with things, you will be fine. And I spoke to a friend of mine who was a doctor and she said, no, you're, you're really not very well. You're really quite ill. And it was a good few weeks later when I looked back and thought, oh yes. And the reason we know that is because. Ordinarily, we will get out of bed and get on with our day without even thinking about it. Wouldn't cross our minds not to get out of bed. And just on the list of jobs and just going about our everyday business. And so that's how I know that that thought isn't a real thought, but it is a genuine thought that I have every time I'm unwell. As does my friend. So if that is a thought, you have again, No that you're not alone. These all might sound a little bit odd, but actually I'm hoping that they're reassuring. And even if these examples don't resonate with you. They might be so off the wall that you can identify with them and go, okay, well, my example isn't the same as that, but I can see. Yeah, I'm probably not alone in thinking this and maybe I'll share it with someone and they'll go, oh yes, that's me too. The next one is that I think it's only me who feels rubbish some mornings when I wake up without any real reason. For doing so. I've written about this before in one of my Sunday love letters and I did some research on it. And there was something about cortisol levels being lower in the morning. I can go to bed feeling absolutely fine. Have this conversation with a friend as well. And she feels like this. We can go to bed feeling absolutely fine and wake up and feel really grim, really down really unsettled. I've mentioned earlier in the week that I had my human design done. And I think that is one of the traits of my human design, that it is my internal energy that dictates how I feel more than external factors. So sometimes for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I can wake up and feel awful and I've had to learn how to deal with that. I do a little bit of Reiki each morning anyway, on myself, just to reset myself. And if you listened to yesterday's episode, that's where I talked about spiritual practices. They help. So I might do a little bit of journaling. I might do some yoga. I might just have a note, but have a chat to myself and I've come to recognize as I've got older. That that is a trait that I have. And I. Forgive myself for it. And I don't beat myself up about it. But just know you're not alone. If some mornings you wake up and for no apparent reason. You just feel pretty rubbish. It's totally normal. It's totally normal. You're not faulty. There's nothing wrong with you. It's just how some of us are made. And it goes away. Sometimes it goes away fairly quickly and it's not every day. And as I talked about in a previous episode, I am generally quite chirpy and I'm positive and I like to see the good in things. But sometimes when you just start coming round from your sleeping, like, oh, flip me. Okay. Yeah. I recognize that feeling right in my solar plexus. Horrible unsettled feeling. It is possible to have some tools in our toolbox to get ourselves out of it. So please don't feel alone if you feel like that. And the last one I'm going to talk about is. I think it's only me who thinks I'm going mad. I honestly do. I sometimes shock myself. More recently, actually, which I'm surprised about because over the last few months, my memory seems to have been better, but Lordy me at the moment is bad. And I sometimes think if I didn't know that I was okay. Well, I think I'm okay. I would swear. I was going mad and it's not a case of even turning up in a room and not being sure why I'm there or opening the fridge and not knowing what I'm looking for or finding things in the wrong place. I can literally do something. And two seconds later, I can't remember that I've done it. And the other thing is, is almost as if every night I go to bed. And some gremlins come in and wipe my entire memory. So I look at my calendar and see that I've got a meeting with someone and think. I have no recollection of making that meeting. I've got no idea what it's about. Just utterly clueless. And I'll go back through notebooks and see if I've scribbled down. When I made the meeting and why I've made the meeting and what I'm going to be doing on the meeting. I will. Not know where I've made notes about other things that you need to remember. Utterly, utterly hopeless. And I have this conversation with my mum sometime. She says my memory is getting worse. I'm only doing half the job I turned around and I find that I've left a door open or I haven't. The other days you said. I made a sandwich. I forgot to put the filling in it. And I'm like, mum. Don't worry. I'm doing crazy, crazy things all the time. That do really quite worry me sometimes, but I'm sure it's absolutely fine. I'm just telling myself I've got a lot going on and. Yes. That's just the stage we're at at the moment, whether it'll get better. I actually don't know, but if you can take any comfort from knowing you're not the only person who thinks secretly, you must be going mad. And I say this, having the highest dose of HRT that probably is having, had everything whipped. And still. I think I'm going mad. So I only say that to offer you some comfort. All of these are just to offer you some comfort that actually. Whatever you're thinking, however, bizarre. It may seem however, unsettling. It may feel. You're not alone. You're not alone. There's millions of us out there. Feeling this way. So if it helps to share something, either with me or with a friend or with a relative or with a partner or with the child. If you think that sharing will lessen the burden, I'd really encourage you to do that because amongst all these things, we can find some kind of humor and laughter and bonding and connection with other people. And ultimately, I think that is what as humans we need. I hope that you found these episodes helpful. And if there's anything you'd like me to cover, either as a mini series or as an individual topic, then please just let me know. And I'd be only too happy to think about it because that's what I'm here for. I'm just really here to be a friend in your ear to make the world and life seem a better place to feel a little lighter, a little bright to bring you a little more joy, letting you know that you're not alone and that we're all in this together. Now you take care, have a brilliant rest of the day. And I look forward to being back with you again soon. Lots of love. Take care and bye for now. This is the place where I say all of the things which I should have said during the podcast episode, but which I forgot. So first of all, thank you so much for joining me today. I hope that you enjoyed the episode. If there's anything that you would like me to cover. In future episodes, please just let me know if there was anything that I mentioned and that you'd like more details about, whether it is a resource or a code for a product. Just take a look in the show notes. I will be sure to have mentioned it there, and if you would like to subscribe to the podcast so that you get notified as soon as future episodes are ready, then please just hit the subscribe button now. Thanks so much once again. Have a super week and I will see you again soon. Bye for now.