Want To Feel Better About Yourself? Let's Celebrate Our Strengths: Five Things I'm Good At

Welcome to Episode 2 of this 5 day mini series which is designed to help you to feel totally sorted about yourself and your life.

During these 5 episodes I will be giving you the opportunity to listen to the inner most workings of my mind with the hope that you may think to yourself "Oh, so I'm not alone in thinking and feeling this." Or even better "Wow, I am totally sorted and she totally IS NOT!"

Come and join me as I journey through five things I'm rubbish at, five things I'm good at (I say that with the lighest of touches!) my five greatest fears, five daily spiritual practices that I follow and five thoughts I think only I think!

Resources I referred to in the episode:

Listen - How To Find The Words For Tender Conversations
Chambers & Beau Jewellery

Feel free to come and find me on Instagram at bethgoodrham and drop me a message there. I'd love to hear from you!

I've also got a website HERE with lots of free resources and information about the coaching programmes and courses that I have available.

And remember, if you're in the market for some new knickers I have a 20% discount off at Stripe & Stare with the code BGOOD20 and I have a 15% discount with Baukjen at BGSTYLIST 15. 

Thank you so much for joining me! If there's anyone you know who you think might like to take a listen too, please share a Friend In Your Ear with them. 

Beth x

Transcript

0:02

Hi, I am Beth and this is my podcast, A Friend in Your Ear. Friends are so important in our lives. They support us through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. They give us the space to grow and the grace to fail. They are our biggest cheerleaders when we are our harshest critics. They're not just here for us, but they're here with us, and that's what this podcast is all about, being a friend in your ear. I'm a lawyer turned stylist and fashion blogger who built a successful styling business, and now I work from home running an online business. I spend a lot of time reading books, listening to audiobooks, and listening to podcasts. My favourite podcasts offer me advice, comfort, support, wisdom, and fun when my real life friends are busy. And this is a place where I can take what I've learnt and deliver it in a way that hopefully makes your life easier, gives you something to ponder and brings a little joy to your day. Think of this as a chat with a friend, a place where you can come to reminisce for nostalgia, a giggle and a place to find answers to something that might be bothering you. So whether you are out on a run or a walk on the school run, being a taxi to your kids or grandkids on a Zoom meeting with your. Or sitting with a glass of something cold in your hand. Welcome to the A Friend In Your Ear podcast. Hello, and welcome to episode two in this 5, 5, 5 mini series in which each day. For five days, I am talking about a different topic and covering five points within it. Now in the first episode, I looked at five things I am bad at. And in this episode, I'm going to look at five things that I'm good at. And do you know what already I am squirming, which I think so something. About us women of a certain age or any age we don't like talking about things that we think we're good at. So I am just going to take a deep breath, hold my nerve. Dive in and share the five things that I think that I'm good at. The first thing is being there in a crisis. If you are encountering a crisis, I am somebody you want by your side. I am there with you for you. I'll fight your corner. I'll be your lioness. And if people mess with me, that is a bad sign for them. That doesn't mean that I'm making it, I'm some hard woman because I'm not, but when I go into bat for other people, I can get stuff done, way more easily. Than I can. If I'm trying to go into bat for myself, I've got my pen and pap. I've got my list of resources there. I've got my stiff upper lip, my straight spine, whatever it takes, endless energy, boundless energy problem solving, fixing, lifting, moving, sorting, organizing, whatever it is. I am your girl. I have moved at least four friends when they've been getting divorced sometimes in the middle of the night. Sometimes when their husbands have been overseas, whatever it has taken, I've been there and fixed it. I've gone to people's help sorted them out. Done crisis management. And it's one of those things that I think if I see somebody who is really struggling. And I can't stand to see people struggling out. Actually, if someone's struggling. Um, I know a way I can fix it, then I will do what ever it takes, whatever I can. To fix a problem for them. That's just the mode that I go into is fixing, sorting crisis management, getting you to a place in life where you're up and running, and then I'll back off. So it tends to be. Short bursts of lots of energy when there's a real crisis. And then I'll get people to a point where they're okay. And then I'll step back and, and let them get on with things. So that was the first thing being there in a crisis. So anyone listening to this, if you're ever in a crisis and you need a hand, get in touch with me. Armco. Number two. Is never giving up. I wear a necklace that I have had for a good few years now. And it has the words never give up on it. It's a chambers and bone, neck class. I love their necklaces. I love AMIA chambers and Bo go and check her out. If you haven't already, I will link in the show notes and it's a lightning bolt and I have the words never give up stamp onto it. And if I've decided to set out on a project, I just don't give up. Now, the funny thing about doing these podcast episodes, where I talk about things that I'm good at and things that I'm bad at, they can both have flipped side to the things that I'm really bad. In some ways can have a flip positive side and the things that I am say I'm good at can have a negative side. So they probably all meet somewhere in the middle. Now I think there are times when I should have given up on things and having that. Resilience in that tenacity to keep going. Hasn't always served me well. And so if you are someone who find yourself in a similar situation where you just dig your heels in and refuse to give up, and I don't mean us in. Refusing to back down when you know that you should or doing wrong by somebody. It's more a case of when you're pitting yourself against yourself and refusing to give up. Then just take a step back for a minute and think, is it actually serving you? What is it that's making you continue to keep going with something or in a situation when actually the better thing for you might be not to? Is it because you've invested money in something and you don't want to feel that that has been a wasted investment? Is it because you've invested a lot of time in something. Is it because you've relied on others to help you to get to that stage? Is it because you've got something to prove to yourself from when you were a child that you wanted set the record straight on? That could be any number of things. Why we continue to pursue something when actually it's probably in our better interest not to. So just check in and feel into what that might be and see whether it is in your best interest to keep going. When perhaps you shouldn't. I'm of the view, the older that I've got, that eventually things come round and turn themselves. Right. And that if we keep going, it will be okay either. Something will distract us on a different path or it will come good, or we will find our way through it. But just if you have stuck at something for longer than you think you want to have done, just because you don't want to lose face on your all, you're worried about what people might think. Just have a think about how well that's serving you, whether that's something like staying in a career that doesn't serve you any more, staying in a relationship, staying in a location, staying in a friendship, staying in, in whatever. That just isn't really serving you. And I'm not saying we have to put ourselves first all the time and there's going to be so many caveats in these episodes. Aren't there because. It's difficult to talk about things like this and not make it sound selfish, but sometimes you do have to just figure out what is serving you the best because, and I always come back to this often, if we have many roles in life, whether it's because we're a daughter, whether we're caring for people, whoever that may be friends, family, children, husbands, partners, whatever. It's also in their best interest. If we're in a pace. Where we feel more settled. Not too on edge, not too unsettled all the time. So just check in with that and think to yourself. Is there anything that I'm continuing to pursue here? Actually it's gone past its sell by date. Like my Maskcara that I have had. For 18 months instead of three months, or there's something lurking at the back of the fridge that I can tell is just starting to go a bit off. I'm really, I ought to have a good rummage and get it out and check it in the rubbish, but I haven't quite got around to it yet. Just have a little feel into that. So never giving up. I think it's a really good skill of mine at some point, but then others. It probably tips into something that isn't terribly healthy. My third strength. I think that I'm good at is seeing the threads and getting to the heart of the matter or a problem. So when I'm dealing with a difficult situation with someone or I'm doing some coaching, I think I'm quite good at being able to see what the bigger issue is. Even if the person isn't necessarily articulating it, I can. Kind of bring the evidence together and I can draw themes out and I can weave threads together and say it to somebody in a way and they'll go, oh my golly, I hadn't realized it was that I hadn't thought it was that. And I don't know where that comes from. I think there's skills that we all have, and you will have possibly this one, possibly a different one that I could never dream of having. But I do think I have an ability. And I feel very uncomfortable saying this, which is why it is a good exercise to list some things that you're good at. I think at the end of this episode, If I remember, I'm going to say to you, list five things that you're good at. Not only list them, but articulate them because there's a difference between making a list, which is what I did before this episode. And now talking out loud and it's making me feel really uncomfortable. But I do think that I'm good at that. I think I can get to the heart of the matter. And then on the back of that, I think I'm able to give good advice. People keep telling me that I'm really wise and. That I have a way of seeing what issues are and the right thing to say to people. I rarely feel like that myself. I say the right thing. I'd probably say the wrong thing. Most of the time. I try and say the right thing, but in terms of, if someone's sitting in front of me and they've got a problem, I do feel that I'm okay. Uh, pulling the threads out and getting to the nub and the root. And figuring it out. And I think a lot of that comes back to a book that I referred to. Couple of episodes ago when I was doing a podcast episode with my co-host Libby and it's called listen, our link again in the show notes, but just listening to what people are saying, really, really listening. Not jumping ahead with what you think they're saying, not trying to rush them to a conclusion, not making your own conclusions, but just really listening, watching their body language and figuring out what the subtext might be. If they haven't quite got to the nub of what it is that is bothering them. But yes, seeing the threads and getting to the heart of the matter is something that I think I'm pretty good at. And people tell me that I'm wise. I don't know whether I would quite agree with them, but anyway, that's the message that I seem to keep coming back to me. So it would, you know what, I'm going to run with that because there are people out there who were far wise. Then I think I am, who are telling me that, and it would be rude not to listen to them. So the fourth one. Is endless positivity belief and faith that it will all be okay. I am a really positive person. I just, I don't know why. I think we're all made in different ways. Sort of boyfriend. I mean, talk about glass half empty. Didn't even have a glass bless him. And I think I decided at that very early age. I think I was in my early twenties. That I just didn't want to be like that. And maybe that was what he really taught me, or maybe it was one of the most valuable lessons I've ever learned in life, but he moaned about everything. Literally. Everything he moaned on his football team lost. He Mt. He'd got a bad back. He boned about work. He moaned about the weather. He was just really flipping miserable all the time. And I thought I cannot live with that kind of energy. I don't want it for myself and I don't want it from the people that I'm in a relationship or living with. So. Being positive is something that was either slightly innate or a lesson that I learned. I don't know which it was, but. I tend to be able to see the positive in situations. So for example, just really simple ones, if I'm traveling and. There's a delay. I just think to myself, thank goodness. I don't have three young children with me. Like I'm stuck in an airport. I could be stuck there for 12 hours. I don't care as long as I'm dry and I'm warm and I've got some food. I don't care if I'm sitting on the floor. I'm not bothered. I'm just really pleased. That I haven't got toddlers who need nap is changing and who were screaming and who were crying. Because of being there and it's horrible. So whatever situation we're in, there's likely to be somebody who is far worse off than we are. So I never really think I've got room to complain. I've got room to feel sad about situations. I can be upset by situations. I can be distraught by really traumatic things that happen. But overall, Do you think there comes a point when even in really awful situations, we can find the positive. And I know I've said this before. I never believe that. Bad things happen for a reason. Never think you could say it was great that this happened to this person. It was awful for them, but somewhere along the way, you can tend to find something, some thread that you draw out of it that you can use in a positive and constructive way, whether for them, or as a learning experience or something. And so I think it's a choice we make in life, whether we're going to see the positive and the good. Or whether we are not, and we're going to end up like this ex boyfriend of mine, who I figure is probably still pretty miserable without any good reason whatsoever. So seeing the positive in situations, having endless positivity, belief and faith, that would all be okay in the end. Is something that I think I am good at and keeps me going so the last one, number five is seeing the potential in people before they see it in themselves and believing in them. I can look at someone, I can have a chat with them and I can just see their potential and their possibilities for themselves. And. Maybe that partly ties back to the one that I was talking about just now and this positivity, maybe they're sort of linked because I'm always looking for the positive. And maybe it's just having a fresh pair of eyes on a situation. But when I'm chatting to someone, when they're telling me about what they've done, I think I'm always so in awe of people, I love people. I love psychology. I love knowing what they get up to and I'm just probably really irritating for them. Some people think it's great, but I'm sure there's people that find it really irritating. I'm. Have you thought about this, you could do that. You can do that. That's amazing. I can't believe it. How do you start to learn something like that? And I kind of get really involved and say, well, yeah, you could write a book, you could do this. You could do that. You'd be great at that job. And. Um, sometimes people look at me as if I'm slightly bonkers. And I don't know whether that's because that's genuinely what they're feeling or whether a lot of people just don't see their own value. I think that can arise for a number of reasons. Sometimes people can be so close to their own genius that they just don't appreciate it for what it is by somebody who can draw. They'll look at a picture they've drawn and be really critical of it. But somebody like me who cannot draw a single thing will look at it and think it is incredible. So I think there's that people can be too close to their own skillset and their own genius that they don't realize what a value it has to other people. So actually having that fresh pair of eyes can be really. Helpful for them to make that come into their own consciousness. And then the other thing is that some people are just so downtrodden in life and have so little self belief and just don't realize. Again, the value of what they've got, but from a different perspective, they just have never been told that what they bring to the world is of any value whatsoever that they don't have any particular skills. And we all have skills and we all have traits that are amazing, that are worth sharing with other people. And so I do think that that is something that I get excited about when I meet somebody new and find out about them is just looking at the potential and finding out if they're reaching their potential. I think that is one of my big things for women and is going to. Come in later in the week, when I talk about when I biggest fears is time running out and just not having the opportunity to reach my biggest potential in life, I think we can reach a certain age and think we've peaked and we're on the downhill. And I don't believe that for a minute. I think we can keep ascending and going uphill. If that's what we want to do for a really, really long time, till the day we die, there's always opportunity to learn new things, a bit excited by life. And two. Invest in others and to invest in ourselves and to go on great journeys and do amazing things, whatever that looks like for you in terms of reaching your full potential is different for everybody. But having that zest and that energy and that enthusiasm for life and seeing the best in people and seeing that potential. I think is something that I'm actually quite good at. I was going to say OKR, but I'm encouraging myself to say quite good are even good at, and I am going to encourage you to do the same. So. After finishing this podcast episode, I would love you to go and write down five things that you are good at. And speak them out loud. If it feels too scary to start off with, to speak about loud, to. Any person or anyone? Do it in front of a mirror. And then if you want to record a little message and you want to send it to me. On Instagram, you can find me at Beth. Good germ. Just record a little message and Instagram and send it to me. I would love to hear. The five things that you are good at, because I know there are five things, there's probably 55 things, but you pick the top five and record a message and send it to me because I think that's something that we all need to get a little bit more comfortable doing. And Hey, I've been brave enough to sit here for 17 minutes and talk about things that I'm good at. And my skin is crawling. Because it feels very uncomfortable, but I also think it's very important. Particularly as yesterday, I did five things I'm bad at. We always need to have that counterweight. Well, we've talked about something negative to talk about something a little bit positive. So I shall love you and leave you. I hope that you've enjoyed episode two of the 5, 5, 5 series. I will be back with episode three tomorrow. I'm not going to share with you right now what that is, but I hope you can join me. And in the meantime, I hope you have a fabulous state. Lots of love and bye for now. This is the place where I say all of the things which I should have said during the podcast episode, but which I forgot. So first of all, thank you so much for joining me today. I hope that you enjoyed the episode. If there's anything that you would like me to cover in future episodes, please just let me know. If there was anything that I mentioned and that you'd like more details about, whether it is a resource or a code for a product, just take a look in the show notes. I will be sure to have mentioned it there, and if you would like to subscribe to the podcast so that you get notified as soon as future episodes are ready, then please just hit the subscribe button now. Thanks so much once again. Have a super week and I will see you again soon. Bye for now.