Want To Feel Better About Yourself? Here Are Five Things I'm RUBBISH At!

Welcome to Episode 1 of this 5 day mini series which is designed to help you to feel totally sorted about yourself and your life.

Over the next 5 episodes I will be giving you the opportunity to listen to the inner most workings of my mind with the hope that you may think to yourself "Oh, so I'm not alone in thinking and feeling this." Or even better "Wow, I am totally sorted and she totally IS NOT!"

Come and join me as I journey through five things I'm rubbish at, five things I'm good at (I say that with the lighest of touches!) my five greatest fears, five daily spiritual practices that I follow and five thoughts I think only I think!

Feel free to come and find me on Instagram at bethgoodrham and drop me a message there. I'd love to hear from you!

I've also got a website HERE with lots of free resources and information about the coaching programmes and courses that I have available. 

And remember, if you're in the market for some new knickers I have a 20% discount off at Stripe & Stare with the code BGOOD20 and I have a 15% discount with Baukjen at BGSTYLIST 15. 

Thank you so much for joining me! If there's anyone you know who you think might like to take a listen too, please share a Friend In Your Ear with them. 

Beth x

Transcript

0:02

Hi, I am Beth and this is my podcast, A Friend in Your Ear. Friends are so important in our lives. They support us through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. They give us the space to grow and the grace to fail. They are our biggest cheerleaders when we are our harshest critics. They're not just here for us, but they're here with us, and that's what this podcast is all about, being a friend in your ear. I'm a lawyer turned stylist and fashion blogger who built a successful styling business, and now I work from home running an online business. I spend a lot of time reading books, listening to audiobooks, and listening to podcasts. My favourite podcasts offer me advice, comfort, support, wisdom, and fun when my real life friends are busy. And this is a place where I can take what I've learnt and deliver it in a way that hopefully makes your life easier, gives you something to ponder and brings a little joy to your day. Think of this as a chat with a friend, a place where you can come to reminisce for nostalgia, a giggle and a place to find answers to something that might be bothering you. So whether you are out on a run or a walk on the school run, being a taxi to your kids or grandkids on a Zoom meeting with your. Or sitting with a glass of something cold in your hand. Welcome to the A Friend In Your Ear podcast. Hi, and welcome to a friend in your ear and in particular. A mini series that I have created, especially for you. The mini series is called the 5 5, 5 series. And over the next five days, I am going to be releasing a brand new episode, covering a specific topic with five points within that topic. So over the next five days in total, you're going to be getting 25 thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and concepts. All to do with issues that affect us in our everyday life. The reason for doing this is because I wanted to share some behind the scenes to make you feel less alone to see if you identified with it to make you sit and go. Oh, whoa. Okay. It's not just me. That feels like that about things in life. Now in no particular order, I'm going to be covering. Five things that I'm terrible at five things. I'm good at. Five biggest fears, five spiritual practices. I follow. Um, five thoughts. I believe only I think. To get the ball rolling. We are going to be starting with five things. I'm terrible at. Because I always think it's comforting to hear. What people think they are totally and utterly rubbish. So without further ado, let me dive into the five things that I am terrible at. Number one. Avoidance. Now I was asking my husband last night, some things that I'm terrible at, I said, I want to do a podcast episode, and I want to talk about five things that I'm terrible at. What shall I include? I mean, what better person to ask than the person that you've lived with for the last 25 years? And he hummed any hard, a little anyone. Opening your post. I said anything else? No. Opening your post. And I thought about that in the larger scheme of life, love in the universe and decided that avoidance. Is one of the things that I am really bad at, or perhaps avoidance is one of the things I'm really good at. But it isn't something to be proud of. Now the reason he said post in particular is because there has been a little recent story. Relating to me, not opening posted and there being some kind of marginal consequences. About that. I'm really, I think the story goes something like this. In October, we have to renew. Uh, tenancy on an allotment plot. We have to the side of our house when we bought our house almost 20 years ago, now it came with an allotment to the side of it. And we took over that tenancy in an October is due for renewal. Now I never deal with that. That is always my husband's job. But in October, I think we were in the midst of him caring for me. After I'd had my hysterectomy operation and somehow it slipped through the net either. I didn't open the post to remind me he forgot about it. And neither of us remembered it. Now I think it is then fair to say that there was a considerable amount of time when post of mine did pile up. If something urgent comes through the door and this is what I'm trying to figure out. If something urgent comes through that I know needs dealing with. I open it. I'm not somebody who thinks, oh, there might be some bad news in that letter about a test result or something that needs doing, I will open it. I think if I look at it and think that looks really boring. I don't bother to open it. Anyway, I wasn't aware of these letters reminding us that we needed to pay. All the one that said you now need to pay all the one that said we're going to serve you with a notice to quit. I just opened the letter that said you have now lost the right to rent your allotment. I don't think that we had all of the letters. I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, I spoke to my husband about it. I didn't avoid that. I said. To him. I've got a confession. I need to own up to something. I think I'm probably 95% culpable, a newer, probably 5% culpable. So I came clean about it and. I think hopefully we're going to be able to sort it out. I don't think anyone else is going to want that allotment plot. There's no. Access to it. There's no water to it. It may work out. It may not. But anyway, That's just an example of avoidance of me not opening posts. And I have done that on other things in the past. So another example is I sat the whole of my law society. Final exams. Without opening or did the entire year without opening the core materials that we were meant to rely on to help us to pass the exam. I was just too scared. So that was a case where I was scared of something. They sat in a box at the end of my bed in Chester for an entire year. They haunted me, they were done up in their box. They were wrapped up in cellophane. And they haunted me, but not once was I brave enough to open them. So that's another example of me avoiding things. And also I know that I procrastinate on little things. So what I will do is I'll get to the stage where a job is half done to the point that it no longer bothers me, but then I won't finish it. So I might sort out a messy cupboard and realize that there's things to go to the charity shop and bag them up, but they could then quite possibly sit for the next six months in a room before I take them to the charity shop. So there's definitely something there. Around avoidance, not doing things that scare me procrastinating a little bit, and that is really not a very good trait of mine. So that's the first thing I'm terrible at. The second thing is saying what I should, when I should, I don't always articulate what I should in the moment. And then time passes. And I think back on it and I regret it and I think we all do this. We pay back in our minds, what we should have said in a certain scenario, but really by this stage in my life, I should have equipped myself with a toolbox of phrases that I could use in any given circumstance so that I don't walk away and then reflect and think I should have said something in that situation. Now a couple of examples of this. A few months ago. I was in our local MNS and there was an elderly lady in front of me and she looked like she was struggling with her shopping. And I just been talking to my mum on the phone and I thought, oh, if that was my mom, I'd really hope that somebody would go up and help her. So I offered to help her and she had a real real go at me in front of the shop, almost screaming at me to get away from her. I subsequently learned that she is very sensitive about people being there, her after COVID and so on and so forth, which is fine. I apologize. I said, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to invade your personal space, but I was just trying to help you. And she shouted at me said, I'm not standing here having an argument with you. And it was so embarrassing. And I thought back on that situation and decided that I really probably should have just walked even further back from her and left her to her own things rather than trying to. I explain what I was doing and try and justify my actions. I should have just backed right off, which I thought I'd done, but obviously hadn't done enough and then got very upset myself. So I think I could have dealt with that situation better. There was another situation where I was flying back from a holiday with a friend and a chat pushed in front of us when he wanted to board the plane or get his tickets checked or something. He'd obviously had a really bad day and he pushed in front of me. I didn't say anything to him. And then we got in the queue, my friend challenged him and said that was really rude. And he absolutely went off on one. He called her a carer and he said, he'd got priority booking. He was obviously a first class passenger, which he felt. Made him superior to everybody else and was really, really rude. And I stood there completely gobsmacked and didn't say anything. Whereas what I should have said or what I could have said, but I don't know whether it would have been the right thing was something the lines of you've clearly had a really bad day. Please don't take it out on us. What I would have loved to have said was, I feel sorry for the women in your life, because. You're an absolute arse, but that probably wouldn't have been the right thing to have said, but I felt so bad afterwards that I just stood there and let this man have a go at my friend and I hadn't intervened and done anything to stop it because I just didn't know what to say. I didn't know what was going on around me. And also I didn't want to undermine her because she might have not wanted me to button. So there's definitely something around saying what I should, when I should and not articulating what I should in the moment. My guess is that's probably a fairly common feeling to anyone listening to this. I could be wrong, but anyway, that's my number two. Number three is skiing. I am terrible at skiing. Although my husband said you're not terrible at skiing, you're actually very good at skiing, but I'm just very scared of skiing. I am very scared of things moving under my feet. I've never been good at roller skating, ice skating, rollerblading skiing. I don't like speed. I'm not an adrenaline junkie. I do remember one occasion. I think it was the first occasion that he took me skiing. When my children were older and were very good skiers or me just getting massively left behind. Our youngest had gone on in front and he quite rightly had to check on her because she was still quite little and I was left. At the top of this flipping mountain, having to find some way to get down there on my own based ethic, I just tumbled down it. I met a complete ass of myself, so got to the bottom and took my skis off in total and utter strop. The rage. And I realized over time that going skiing just brought out the worst in me. And maybe that is the thing that I'm terrible at as opposed to skiing and being scared is just feeling out of control, feeling incompetent, feeling useless, feeling hopeless. Feeling the worst in the world at something it's horrible. And it doesn't mean to say, I expect to always be in situations where I'm achieving a good, because, but it's rarely the case, but there is something about that type of activity and skiing in particular that brings out the absolute worst in me. It just makes me miserable. To the point that when I got home from that skiing holiday, my friend said to me, you are never to go skiing again. It's just not good for you. Print out the worst in you. So I hold my hands up something I am terrible at. And it's very sad because I think my husband always hoped that I would take over the skiing mantle from him when his skiing days were over his skied, since he was a kid, he loves it. He's very good at it. His plan was that I would continue when he couldn't, I don't know why he wouldn't be able to. He's only three years older than. But that little plan didn't come to fruition. I wish I was better. I wish I enjoyed it. Everybody tells me every year you would love it. You love the outdoors. You love being active. I love being with my family, but there is just something about skiing that does not gel with me. And actually over the years, I've come to terms with that. I don't beat myself up about it anymore. It's just one of those things and that is absolutely fine. The fourth thing that I am terrible at. Is creating things and sharing them with the world. I'm good at creating things. I've done some human design work recently, and I'm hoping to get a lady on the podcast to talk about that. But I am a manifesting generator, which means I produce a lot of content and I love doing that. But what I don't do then is share it. So for example, I spent six months last year, having the most beautiful website built and it's there. And it sits. I don't send anybody to it. I have created all sorts of courses and programs and freebies and podcast episodes over the years. And I create them. And I just let them sit there and then I move on and I don't know whether this is a female thing. I think it might be, or whether it's individual to me and my human design and my personality, but I would love to be one of those people who create things and then just continues to share them over and over again. I just think, okay. I've mentioned it once. I bet to be quiet now everyone's going to get really annoyed if I mentioned it again. So I'm just going to keep it quiet. I'm not going to say anything, so I'll put lots of time and. Lots of effort and lots of energy. And lots of resources, both in terms of finance and commitment. And like I say, energy into creating things. And then once they're finished, I'll wrap them up, uh, move on to the next project and don't share them with anyone. So that is one of my. Big things that I am absolutely terrible at. The fifth one is looking outside of myself for answers. I'm getting better at it. I will come to that later in the week, but I often think. If I just took one more course. If I just got one more certificate, if I just read one more book, listen to one more podcast. Got one more, bit of knowledge went to one more conference, went to one more, something did one more something. Then then I would have the answers. Rather than just going. No. You've done enough, Beth. Over the last few years, you have spent lots of time and lots of money and lots of energy and lots of effort. On getting to the place that you are now. And actually you're okay. This is fine. You don't need to get any more certificates. You don't need to keep on striving. You just need to actually put into play what you've learned, doing all of those things. And again, I don't know whether that's a female thing. I don't know if anyone is. Listening and nodding to this because it's resonating with them. But for sure, looking outside of ourselves for answers is something that I think we do all the time, rather than just getting quiet and just looking in on ourselves. So that is my top five things that I am terrible at. Just to recap. Avoiding things. Number two is saying what I should, when I should. I don't articulate what I should in the moment. Number three is skiing. Or more importantly being scared. Number four is talking about what I do and sharing it with the world. And number five is looking outside of myself for answers. So to wrap up the first in this 5, 5, 5 series, those are the five things that I am really terrible at. That doesn't mean to say that there aren't many, many more because there are, but they were the five that I wanted to share with you today and tomorrow. I'm going to look at five things that I'm actually okay. Cause I think we're really good at saying what we're better, but we're not always really good at saying what we are good at. So join me tomorrow. For episode two of 5, 5, 5, I look forward to seeing you then. This is the place where I say all of the things which I should have said during the podcast episode, but which I forgot. So first of all, thank you so much for joining me today. I hope that you enjoyed the episode. If there's anything that you would like me to cover in future episodes, please just let me know. If there was anything that I mentioned and that you'd like more details about, whether it is a resource or a code for a product, just take a look in the show notes. I will be sure to have mentioned it there, and if you would like to subscribe to the podcast so that you get notified as soon as future episodes are ready, then please just hit the subscribe button now. Thanks so much once again. Have a super week and I will see you again soon. Bye for now.