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What It Means To Be Authentic, Dating After Divorce & Retreat Days

• Beth Goodrham

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Hello! Come and join us this week as we meander through:

  •  the joys of having passport photos taken in your 50s
  •  what it means to be authentic
  •  a story about dating after divorce
  • how its possible to succeed in an exam by getting more than half of it wrong and
  • Beth shares details of the upcoming day retreat she's holding. 


We hope that you enjoy the ride as we take left turns and wrong turns, get ourselves stuck in cul-de-sacs and come out the other side laughing.

Resources referred to in today's episode:

For information about Beth & Mandy's "Set Fire To Your Sh*t" Day Retreat on Friday 23rd February 2024 which runs from 10am to 5pm just CLICK HERE  


Where to find us:

Come and find Beth on Instagram at bethgoodrham or at her website www.bethgoodrham.com

To find Libby, head to LibbyHubbard1 on Instagram





Hi, I am Beth and this is my podcast, A Friend in Your Ear. Friends are so important in our lives. They support us through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. They give us the space to grow and the grace to fail. They are our biggest cheerleaders when we are our harshest critics. They're not just here for us, but they're here with us, and that's what this podcast is all about, being a friend in your ear. I'm a lawyer turned stylist and fashion blogger who built a successful styling business, and now I work from home running an online business. I spend a lot of time reading books, listening to audiobooks, and listening to podcasts. My favourite podcasts offer me advice, comfort, support, wisdom, and fun when my real life friends are busy. And this is a place where I can take what I've learnt and deliver it in a way that hopefully makes your life easier, gives you something to ponder and brings a little joy to your day. Think of this as a chat with a friend, a place where you can come to reminisce for nostalgia, a giggle and a place to find answers to something that might be bothering you. So whether you are out on a run or a walk on the school run, being a taxi to your kids or grandkids on a Zoom meeting with your. Or sitting with a glass of something cold in your hand. Welcome to the A Friend In Your Ear podcast

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

And welcome back to a friend in Your ear. It's Libby here today, not Beth. We thought I'd kick off the show. So another chat, another podcast looking at life and its ups and downs this last week, but mostly really it's funny bits.'cause let's face it, you've gotta have some funny bits. So welcome Beth to your own podcast, which sounds a funny. Week. Any funny bits, your week to kick us off. Come on, you always good for funny bits? Let's go.

Track 1:

thanks Lib. Thanks for welcoming me on. I've got lots of funny bits, but I've got two funny stories that I'm gonna share

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yay.

Track 1:

with you to kick us off. So the first thing relates to something I have been putting off for far too long, which is having new passport photos taken.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Oh.

Track 1:

Just do you know the worst thing about passport photos is I've concluded that the only thing that makes my face barely manageable is'cause I can smile and it's the one photo that you can't smile on. So they've basically stripped away anything that means I don't look about 95. And I was sitting there thinking. I can't smile with my mouth, but I'm gonna smile with my eyes. I'm gonna think about people I love and I'm going to try and smile with my eyes. So I did that and the issue for me around the passport photos is completely bizarrely. My last passport photo was actually okay, which is a rarity, isn't it? I dunno how it happened. I had a stinking cold. It was taken in 2014. So obviously 10 years is a long time between. 44. I'm, I will be 54. I had a stinking cold. I was in the bull ring. I felt lousy, but I'd got this white fur coat on and somehow the photo came out okay. To the point that now when I go through security and the guys look at my photo, they do a double take of me. And if, is that really you?

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I love it. No, it's me. It coat kind of glowing off you. I like framing.

Track 1:

they look at me as if to say, that's not you. You look so much older than that. Anyway, that was the top tip I took away from yesterday. I put a fur coat on, I put a navy fur coat on to go and have my photo taken, and that bit looked okay. The rest was fairly hideous, and I tortured myself by getting home and comparing the photos from the. Where is the nearest facial aesthetician person or whatever you call them, to sort this mug out? Not only that, but I'd got it into my head that my passport was about to expire anytime now, and my guys are going skiing with my husband in a couple of weeks, and I thought, oh no, I need a new passport because if something happens to one of them, I'm need, I'm gonna need to go out there. Anyway, it transpires. It doesn't expire until April, but I've now got myself into the sticky situation of filing a new online passport application and needing to send my old one in, which is actually still valid. So, which I could rather do with hanging onto,

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Oh yeah, because you've gotta have a passport just in case.

Track 1:

need a passport just in case. Anyway, I can deal with that as a side issue. But the whole photo thing I have been putting off since before Christmas, and I finally bit the bullet yesterday and. I'm slightly gutted, but all I can take away from that is that in 10 years time, I'll probably look back at this one if I'm lucky enough to make it another 10 years and go, actually love you, thought you terrible old bird then. But just look at what you look like now.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I was just about to say that's the only, sometimes that's the only thing I can think in 10 years or even in two years, you'll go, you aren't looking so bad. I think. If that's your only port in the storm, I think head there. That's what I would say. But I love the idea of smiling eyes. I like that.

Track 1:

It had to be smiley eyes. I just think it's really unfair that we're not allowed to smile in those photos because it's the photos that we see when we are caught unaware that are the ones that really shock us, aren't they? Like when our iPhones turn around on us.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Oh,

Track 1:

And we're like, I don't look like that. Because normally if we know a photo's going to be taken, we we smile and we're like, yeah, that's okay. And then when you're caught off guard and you go, no, that's not okay. I look like my mother.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Or when we accidentally press to FaceTime or something, it's like, you kind of shaken by your own image.

Track 1:

Well, I did that this morning when setting up this call for us and my face popped up on the screen and I looked. Who's that?

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Oh, I like that. And another funny story.

Track 1:

Now? The quick funny story was I was listening to a podcast episode this morning whilst I was working with Rachel Hollis. I really like her podcast,

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yeah.

Track 1:

was talking about dating post-divorce, and she'd been with the same chap since she was 20, or since she was

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Long time,

Track 1:

Until she was about 38. So she'd been with him for 20 years, all those formative growing up years. And she was talking about how you get into the dating game and she figured out it was during lockdown and she found out about this site that you could join, but it was only for celebs. And she's obviously got a big following. She, you can't just go out and date anybody and you have to qualify and be approved and nominated to anyway. And then it shows people that you are matched to. And the second person she was matched to was Owen Wilson.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Oh my days.

Track 1:

And what she did, because she was so shocked and wanted to share this with her mates, which is exactly the kind of thing I would do if I happened to be on a dating website for celebs, was take a screenshot of it and she got this warning. She got her first strike to say, you're not allowed to take screenshots of who's on here, and if you do, you're out.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Oh golly. Because then you could sell it to the, to say, look who's on a dating website or something.

Track 1:

what she did instead was she got her teenage son's phone and just took a photo of it and sent that to her mates instead. And then she'd go round to her mate's house.'cause you'd get sent 10 people, she'd link her phone to the tv, it'd all come up

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I love

Track 1:

on the tv. And John Mayer was one of those celebs as well, who I think went out with Jennifer Aniston years and years ago.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yes, I

Track 1:

him?

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

right.

Track 1:

So I was like, go Rage. That's a great story.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

yeah.

Track 1:

I love that. I don't think it's gonna happen to us mere mortals. I mean, I don't think either of us are in the arena for wanting a new partner and going online to find one Hello husbands. But even if that was the case, I don't think I would qualify for a superstars website.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

No, but who would we match up with? I mean, Ian, his, he's out there.

Track 1:

Swiftly come on back. You what we gonna chat about this week? Lib.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Well, we chatted about this, didn't we, in the week to say about the whole idea about being authentic. And it's very in at the moment, isn't it? Be your authentic self. Be who you are. Is absolutely, yeah, don't try and be anyone else. Stay in your lane. But then what does that look like in terms of being sensitive to others? So sometimes maybe what you've got or who you are may be quite tricky to others. And how much do you try and brush away a little bit of who you are in order to be sensitive to others? Or actually is that just you not being authentic and not being yourself? And it's better to be. More who you are. And I was thinking about this and I think sometimes better, the honesty is much better. So it's not a very good example, but I'm gonna go with it. So when, my husband as he was then, well he still is actually, so we decided we'd like to have children. We were told it was gonna be really, really difficult. And at that stage, all her friends were. Getting pregnant. So that was quite tricky. And I remember the friends who never talked about it or kind of hid the fact that they were pregnant or whatever. I found that really hard. But it was the friends who were like, I just want you to know this is what's going on in our lives. I don't want to exclude you from my lives, I know it will be difficult. And that was. better because they were being themselves and the experience they were going through. But on the other hand, they were being sensitive. So that idea of. Being who you are, but being sensitive, what does that balance look like? And it's really hard, and it can be really important life, things like that. Or it can be other things. Like if you've got a friend who you know is maybe having financial issues, do you go on about, oh, I've just done my weekly shopping waitroses. Or do you lie and say, I've just done my weekly You know, it's that kind. It's really hard, isn't it? What does it mean to be authentic and be who you are? You can't lie about who you are. being aware of others' feelings. Now I feel like I've walked round and round around. I dunno whether walking round and round and round. I've made any sense. Beth, you are really good at making sense of my walking round and round and round. Please make some sense of that.

Track 1:

Oh, that's a responsibility, isn't it?

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I know, I know.

Track 1:

It always comes back down to balance, doesn't it? I think it's really important to be true to who we are, because if we are not, we're probably going to get found out and. Authenticity is the big thing. And we had slightly going off on a tangent, we had this chat, didn't we saying at some point people will probably review us or say something and say, it's obvious they're middle class, it's obvious they're white, it's obvious they're married. It's obvious. There's that, that comes with privilege. But I don't really know what we can do about that other than being aware, like you say, being sensitive to

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Hmm.

Track 1:

other people and not. Taking things for granted or not realizing that we are lucky or that those things come with privilege so that we are not living in a vacuum, because I think that's the worst thing we can do. I think it's okay to say, this is where I am in life, because I've just somehow happened to end up here. Either through birth or through hard work or through the stars aligning or just through sliding doors. Moments. We never really know how we end up, where we end up and that we so easily couldn't if something else had happened along the way. So, I know going a bit deep, I know sadly that if a friend of mine who I was at university with, hadn't died when he was 19, I probably wouldn't be here now. Because I could quite possibly have ended up getting into a relationship with him, which meant I wouldn't have met a boyfriend who I then went out with who lived in Birmingham, which meant I would never have come to Birmingham after I qualified as a lawyer. And so those things are totally random, aren't they? I've ended up in a position where I'm very, very fortunate. So I. I can't deny that, but at the same time, I come from a background where both my parents grew up in council houses, so I'm always very aware of those things and it is just being sensitive and aware and not assuming that everybody has or doesn't have the same as you have.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yeah,

Track 1:

that make any sense at all?

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I think it does. There's that phrase, isn't it? Which I remember it really in my throat when I first had it, but I think the whole kind of, check your privilege. So be aware of your privilege, whatever that looks like. Don't deny it. But that doesn't mean to say you can't be who you are. You still, regardless of your privileges, have ups and downs in life, doesn't it? And if you can't express that, then that's, a sad place to be, being aware of what you're saying and the impact that that's having on other people is a really good for life. Because if we don't have that sensitivity, that tolerance, then we'll just become a hideous society where no one's got any patience for anybody else. And I love the phrase that you have in your introduction to this podcast, you say. My friends who have the grace to let me fail or something like that. I said it perfectly this morning and I've got it. The grace to fail and I think we have to let people fail. Sometimes. We have to let people say stupid things and go, you've got no idea what you're talking about. You've no idea how privileged you are. You say that, but actually we need to have the grace to go. I don't think they do realize what they said and maybe be a bit more gracious to each other when. We do say things or we do say stupid things, or we do say things that maybe aren't as thoughtful as they could do instead of going down the route of you are an awful person. Now I know I'm skidding literally at a raise of knots to cancel and that's not what we are talking about here is it? It's more like saying. What does it mean to be honest about who you are and where you are and that? I think that's a really good point, recognizing, again, with that kind of mentality that we've all come from so many different places and we don't know where people have come from and how they've got to that place and their journeys are gonna be very different. There may be have been a lot of pain. Or whatever, we won't know that. So to make a quick judgment on the fact that they've said something that might be insensitive or might lack a little bit of a 360 degree understanding of what's around them. me it's, it's not particularly good'cause you are literally looking at a tiny bit of the picture and making a judgment of the picture instead of the whole portrait. There you go.

Track 1:

It is, it's that. Assumption making, isn't it? You, have this or you speak like that, or you look like that, so therefore that means you are this. And it could be that nothing is further from the truth. Nobody knows. We've had those conversations before, haven't we? I can't remember if it was on this podcast I was talking or something else, and where women were. Criticizing other women for the fact they'd made an effort on the school run. And my observation was that could be that half an hour a day where they've actually pulled it together and they go home after that and just crawl into bed and cry for the rest of the day because they're desperately unhappy. Whereas there's women in the playground making judgment about'em, saying, oh, look at her. She's put her lipstick on. She's made an effort with that outfit. She must be this, that. She's a lady who lunches. She's a lady who, whatever. Who knows what any of us are

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yes. Yeah, yeah,

Track 1:

in.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

It's hard, isn't it? Because we do jump to those. things especially, and this is awful, isn't it? But we all do it. Women can be so vile to other women, isn't it? I think that's what really upsets me the most. Can almost give men more grace to fail than sometimes we do. Our fellow women, it's like we feel let down by them, isn't it? And it's that actually I'm going to Yeah. You choose to do things differently to I do. And that. That's fine. That's okay if I don't understand it. I can be curious is a word that we had a couple of weeks back and I do like that. I'm, you know, why wonder why they do that? I wonder why that mom spends such a lot of time, I'm using your example that mom spends such a lot of time, I. On her makeup and clothes when she comes to the school gates. Is it because, like you say, that's the only time she gets to herself? Is it because she feels an outsider and wants to feel more inside the group, whatever that looks like. Is it because she's got a very low opinion of herself, you know? No, we don't know what's going on. And I think'cause women, if we jump to go, oh, she's just being that it's really, it's really for our sex. That's I'm.

Track 1:

I. Uh, I think we've not, I think we've almost got to the bottom of that. I think that can go off on lots of tangents, but coming back to the women not being very nice to one another, I never understand that. I will never understand that until the day I die. I just don't get it.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I don't

Track 1:

We all do things that are insensitive and lacking in thought, and maybe we haven't judged things properly. That is part of being human. What I'm talking about is the women who actively sit down and go after other women in a really vitriolic negative way. I just can't get that because

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yeah.

Track 1:

we're all probably struggling with the same things and coming from the same place. And isn't it much better if we're kind of and nicer to one another and try and pull one another up?

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

yes. We've got enough of everything else. I think it probably comes from that. There's only so many women who can get a seat at the table, isn't it? And there isn't, the more women at the table, the more space you can make for the more women. That would be my little,

Track 1:

can shuffle along.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

yeah.

Track 1:

A lot of us, not everyone, but it's via places like Mum's net and things that I've had. My biggest trolls are responsible for such young souls as well.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Mm.

Track 1:

And you think, what kind of energy are you bringing into the house and putting around those poor little souls that are new to the earth when you are carrying so much negativity and nastiness yourself.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Let's muse on that and if we have any more interesting musings or not so interesting musings, we can come back next week and fill them in.

Track 1:

I would be interested to know what people think about that as well. I think we started on one thing went to five other things went round, the houses turned left right, did a U-turn, and here we are.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

then. Up in a cul-de-sac I think, I think I'm gonna bring us up to the surface and go light and talk exams again and results, because I find now I'm gonna share my age. And Beth, you joining me on this. So we both did O Levels, which was.

Track 1:

Oh yes.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

ago, and GCSEs seem to have this different way of marking. Now, I'm not saying they're more difficult or they're easy. I know I pea. It's this whole thing of a marking scheme and what I don't understand is you can get, I don't know, 32% maybe pushing a 40 and still pass and still pass quite nicely. want someone to explain to me how you can know lot less than you ought to know and still, so get more wrong than you get right and still pass. pass and not just pass, but go a little bit above pass. Have you had this in your of experience of this? I don't know anything, but I've still passed, so that's fine. What, tell me about that,

Track 1:

Well, it's quite magic really, isn't it? Wouldn't it be great? Wouldn't it be great if that applied to other things in life? I mean, wouldn't it be awesome? We had this slight analogy earlier. You talk us through. The shopping analogy, lib the supermarket shop. That job that,

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yes,

Track 1:

assuming that we're going to the shops and we're not doing delivery, but the, the supermarket shop is broken down into many different components

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

yes,

Track 1:

that you make the list, you get in the car to go there. If you can't walk, you do the shopping, you pay, you put it back in the car, you come home, you unpack it, and you've got the food for the week

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

yes. then you cook it. Yes. So.

Track 1:

Now.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I'm literally my words all a bit jumbly today. So let's hope I, I nail it. So it's a bit like, the children or whoever's in your household coming home saying, have you done the shop?'cause I'm starving. I go, yes, I have. They go, there's no food in the house. And I go, well, no. I went to the shop and then I came home again, but. They say, uh, but you didn't actually bring any food. I was like, no, but I've done the task. Because literally I'd got 20% of the task because I'd gone to the supermarket, I didn't need to do the rest of the task in order to complete the task and pass it. So if you carry on that analogy, if you get 25% in an examiner still passed or still got, six or a whatever, you've only done the equivalent of going to the supermarket. How? How? How can that be a pass? haven't completed what you needed to do. You haven't completed the shop. There is no food in the fridge or the cupboard, so I just don't understand it. You've literally done the less than half the task. That you needed to do? I don't understand it, but I think what I quite like is it does mean our teenagers on the whole are quite chill about results because. They, they know they don't have to get more right than they do wrong. Whereas we always knew we had to get quite a few more right than we did wrong. And that used to stress us out. Whereas they don't need to get any more, right? In fact, they need to get a lot less right than they get wrong. So that's the case. So maybe that takes the pressure off. I mean, as you can tell from my complete word mashup, I'm slightly just confused by this situation.

Track 1:

Think, I think it comes down to politicians, lib, and I have to say I've never really understood a politician in my entire life because I think one thing comes out of their mouth and I don't think.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

That smells like

Track 1:

I don't think they necessarily believe it. I don't think it is the truth and it's a little bit like that, just sort of beyond me. I'm flummox totally fine a lot in life. Totally confuses me. I don't actually like the C word. IE confused because I think people use it in a really bad way, particularly when you get older. So I try not to use the word confused too much because I think it takes on all sorts of pejorative type meanings. It just means you're a bit dappy and a bit stupid and you don't understand things. But when it comes to things like that, I'm very happy to admit I'm utterly and totally confused by life'cause it just doesn't make sense to my little P brain.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

No. No. And if that's the case, why don't they set the Sili Syllabi. Syllabi is different that people can answer them. I dunno. I dunno. I think you're probably right about the politicians. But if they did, if they seem to be able to lose a lot of WhatsApp messages and not know how WhatsApp. Whereas even I can work out how WhatsApp works, then I guess, yeah, exam results, I mean that's just way beyond, isn't it? But, I think the upshot is, and we both agreed this wasn't it, that our respective daughters seem quite chill about this. And if, if that was the outcome, then maybe that was better than us stressing about the fact that we hadn't got 60% or 70% in order to get us the past that we wanted.

Track 1:

And of course, let's not forget, what could you and I possibly know and what could we possibly know? And wasn't that the olden days

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yes.

Track 1:

exams easy then? Now, as you said, I'm not saying whether they were easier then or harder then who knows? I haven't done A-G-C-S-C in

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Whatever.

Track 1:

whatever.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

probably could. If you got 25%, you'd be okay.

Track 1:

I haven't sat one and I don't plan on doing it anytime soon, I don't think, other than for a laugh. I think it would be really funny to enter A-G-C-S-C having not done a single lesson in it, and just see what you come out with.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yes. then yes, on the QT obviously,

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

our restrictive children, yeah, maybe we should. Maybe we should then maybe that should be our thingy. But come off it, you and I would never be able to do it without doing a little bit of cramming beforehand. It's just, it's not in our nature to not go in. I think we were so. Kind of, I don't know, disciplined also, I dunno what the word is, into always cramming and revising the thought of going into an exam. Not knowing anything gives me shivers. Even now.

Track 1:

It would make me shiver butt. Unless it was chemistry, because I would go into that exam knowing I was not going to get a single mark, right? Because I don't understand chemistry. I was banned from doing chemistry at school. I got 46% in my third year exam.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

a.

Track 1:

No, it had to be 50% or more to do it at O level. And they basically said, no, you're too stupid to do chemistry at O level, which was fair. And then physics, I actually failed. I got a D in physics as the only one. I failed out of a number of O levels. I got a D in physics. I think I'd quite like it now because I think physics comes with life experience, like understanding how a lever and a door works and

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yes.

Track 1:

all that shenanigans. But anyway, there we go.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I mean, I rest my case. Beth, you got 40 something percent and you weren't allowed to take it. Go figure. You almost got as many right as you did wrong. You still weren't allowed to take it.

Track 1:

So if I got 46% now, I'd be on a.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Nine. I dunno.

Track 1:

Oh, we need to scuttle on because you are nipping off.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I'm, I'm, I'm bizarrely going on holiday at half past five in the afternoon, which is very exciting and trying to finish my work and finish everything off. And you always say when you are on holiday, you find it sometimes quite hard settle in things. Well, I'm like that before I go on holiday. I'm not very good at the anticipation I. Don't like flying. And yes, we are lucky enough to be flying away on a holiday. So, I'm gonna be honest about that. And whilst I know it's a privilege, I'm a really nervous flyer and for about 24 hours before I have to go on a plane, I feel this like little ooh inside of me, which makes me super nervous. So I'm trying to be very calm, think about my snacks, think about my new book that I've got to read and just. Enjoy. Enjoy my time away on holiday. So yeah, so that's exciting, but quite random for a Wednesday afternoon. How cool is that? Enjoy this feeling

Track 1:

You are very good at being on holiday, and I'm very bad at being on holidays. I like the run up. We kind of, we meet in the middle or we compliment one another, but we just need both of us to enjoy both. I love the traveling. I love flying. I love being in airports. I love everything about getting there. And then once I'm there, I'm not so good. Whereas when you get off the other end, you, you step into that full on holiday vibe and, and Libs loving the world.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

yes. It's weird, isn't it? We'd be the perfect holiday maker if we could just combine that. Maybe we have to learn off each other. I have learned from you about preparing better, so it takes off the stress and I'm going.

Track 1:

I've learned nothing from you. You'll come home and you'll go, I lay by a pool for two weeks and I absolutely loved it, and I'll go, I did two days and then my brain started to freak out and go, you are lazy. You are useless. You're pointless. You need to be achieving something. And I just look at you and go, oh, I wish I was like that.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I think there's some sort of lizard in me that can do that, then by the end of two weeks I'm ready. But no, I think there's an inherent laziness, whereas not so much maybe in you anyway,

Track 1:

It as a great skill, but anyway, before you go off, there's two things I want to talk about, but one of them we can talk about together.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

yes.

Track 1:

I've got a recommendation.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Oh, yes.

Track 1:

recommendation is poker face. Have you seen it?

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

no. Tell us about it.

Track 1:

I think it's on Sky. My husband and I have this conversation every night.'cause we watch an episode every night and it's like, is it on Netflix? Is this on Amazon? I found it last night. It was on Sky. And it's basically, oh, I have to tell you this. I dunno if I should say this because you might watch it and go, I'm going to kill him sometimes. He says she really looks like Libby.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Oh, oh,

Track 1:

the only similarity I would say is that she's got quite small features. I,

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

yes,

Track 1:

get that. You know, she's got a petite sort of pixie look more than massive big feature type look.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

yes.

Track 1:

I think we're probably pushing it to say there's any other likeness about that. But she does have, I tell you what she does have that you've got, she's got an amazing brain,

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Okay. That's very

Track 1:

episode is. Basically in a casino, that's why it's called Poker Face. And she does something and she outwits the casino people so that she's spends the ne all the next episodes on the run from them. But wherever she goes on the run, there's a murder and she has an ability to tell when people are lying. So she manages to solve every murder whilst she's on the run from these people who want to murder her.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Cool. Oh, wow.

Track 1:

That's really good. She lives in a car. She hasn't got any money. She's always getting into scrapes, but she's just got this really cool brain. So that is the

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

like it.

Track 1:

recommendation. I like that.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yes.

Track 1:

I saw an advert for, is it called Vanderbilt? And I don't know if that's linked to the Housewives of Wives of Beverly Hills or something to do with that, but that keeps popping up.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yeah. I've seen it through Elizabeth Day's really into it. She's one of my podcasts. One of the podcasts that I like. It is, I think it is Reality TV or is it a bit like The Kardashians? I'm not entirely sure, but there's a new series and it's going crazy. And that is on Hey, you, which you get it through Amazon.'cause that's how I get below deck. So H-A-Y-U-I think it's called.

Track 1:

Ah, I.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

that's a new

Track 1:

It looks like there's a lot of drama in that, a lot of drama, a lot of shouting, a lot of falling out, which I can stand for a few minutes, but really I ought to pay homage to neighbors. Which I haven't mentioned on here yet, and which I have watched since it came back every single episode, I think we're on about 77 episodes now. I love my little neighbor's fix at some point during the day, only Monday to Thursday, and my husband will come in the bedroom if I'm watching it when I'm. Getting ready in the morning and he'll say, I used to really love it after you're up.'cause you'd sit up expectantly waiting for your breakfast, watching neighbors. And you were always really happy when I brought you breakfast and you'd got neighbors on the tv.'cause it comes, it drops at seven o'clock in the morning.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

bless

Track 1:

I do love a bit of neighbors. I've always loved neighbors. I like the sun and I love home in a way because I like seeing the sea and the beaches and I.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

You've with them, haven't you? I think you've been very loyal and you live on stage, lest we forget.

Track 1:

I did. I went to see them live on stage and that was great. I loved that. So I thought it was only fair that I mentioned neighbors because they are a part of my daily activity alongside with a little bit of reiki and a little bit of card pulling. They're all part of my spiritual daily practice, which we'll have to talk about some other time because.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I love.

Track 1:

What about you? What have you been checking out?

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Well, I've taken a break from reality TV and I've gone into watching kind of documentaries about people pushing themselves to limit. So I mentioned last week about the program on the pools at Hamstead Heath and people do cold or swimming. And I watched the end of that and I found that really something in me was really moved by that. I can't really explain it, but I really was. And then I watched. This documentary, which another friend of ours had recommended about free diving all my days. So no oxygen obviously. And these men and women, it was mostly about a woman dive down to these great depths just holding their breath. So it's not just about kind of going under a little bit of water. They dive down and I think the record was something like 125 meters, and I think that's 60 odd down and 60 odd up. So they go all the way down. And then come up. So they're going right deep into the darkness of the ocean. And they often do it in breaks in coral and then come up again. they have to have a safety crew waiting for them who are also free divers. And some of them, when they come up, their brains already started to go into some sort of horribleness, but they can bring them back. But this is about this Italian lady. Who had wanted to be a free diver, like since she was, you know, nine or 10, which is bizarre and it shows her in the pool practicing. But I just find it absolutely fascinating. I'd never want to do it myself, I don't understand that drive and that feeling of it must be an, it's almost like an adrenaline thing, isn't it? I don't have that so much. I'm not really stoked on adrenaline so much. Whereas watching them do this, it's phenomenal. Risk, but that's what they did. They went around the world diving into these holes and there's a love story in the back of it. And yes, it was, it was amazing. So I watched that and then I watched another program on, mark Cavendish, the cyclist. About how he pushed himself to the limit and how he'd come back to win a couple of stages of the Tour de France. I think it was last year, maybe 2022, when he'd had quite a long period out with illness and I think it was, uh, pretty much depression. So yeah, I've gone really from the sublime to the ridiculous with my television. And I'm looking forward to watching the deceived that you recommended. And now obviously I'm gonna have a look at poker face just to see what your husband actually thinks I look like

Track 1:

You'll be horrified.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

no, I think it's funny.

Track 1:

Not that there's anything wrong. She's totally beautiful, but she's got a hair that was a bit like Bonnie Tyler's, so

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

yes,

Track 1:

about the hair. Let's just say that in case you watch it on holiday and think, I'm never gonna speak to that man again.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

I love, a bit of Bonnie Tyler. I love a bit of Bonnie Tyler. But before we go, you need to talk about your, retreat. Tell us about

Track 1:

Oh

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

that you're organizing.

Track 1:

yeah, so this will be the second day long retreat that I've held. I held one with Mandy, my friend Mandy, and the second one is with her as well. We held that in, it was before Christmas, November, I think This one is being held on February the 23rd. It's from 10 until five, and it's in Mandy's yoga pod, in her garden in Birmingham. And I was thinking about this because when you're talking about things and saying to people, oh, you know, you might like to come along, there was going. I'm sure to most people, that sounds utterly hideous. You get into a space with people you don't know and talk about things potentially that are quite personal. Why would you ever want to go and do that? But having just done one myself on Friday and having done a four day one last May. There's something that I think are so valuable, and the funny thing about the one that I did on Friday is I went into the yoga pod at 10 o'clock in the morning and I came out at five o'clock in the evening, and it was as if I'd been in some kind of time capsule and time traveled. You go, you go in feeling one way and you meet these people and you have circles and coaching sessions, and then you come out the other end and you're like, what happened in the middle? They're just the most. Amazing experience. So we've got, we've got six or eight spots, and if anybody wants to find out more and wants to come along, then it would be amazing to have them on board. Our retreats are called Set Fire to Your Shit, which, sorry for the swearing, but. We light a fire and people can journal during the day and then they rip it out of their notepads and screw it in up into a ball and put it on the fire and burn it. And we do all sorts of activities throughout the day. We do some yoga, we do some relaxation, we do some guided meditation, we do a couple of coaching sessions. People get a one-on-one coaching session after. So we definitely try and make it. All encompassing and all embracing. And do you know, the thing I love about them the most and something I don't think we do enough as women is just stopping, is just taking a day for ourselves.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yes.

Track 1:

much power and freedom that comes with that and going into a different space, like Man's Yoga Pod and just being in that space, even if nothing had happened on the whole of Friday, but I just sat in that yoga pod on my own

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yeah.

Track 1:

actually being with other people is a big part of it. I would've been so happy. And as you know, I've taken on another big project at the moment, which is really testing my brain skills, which can put us into quite a masculine kind of energy of list making and achieving and driving ourselves, which I can do a bit too much. So to go and do something like that, which taps into a very feminine kind of energy and a much more nurturing experience and relaxation, and coming back to yourself.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Yes. Yeah, I like that actually, just of the world. Or just stepping out of you a little bit and having just kind of quieting all the noise metaphorical and literal is really important, I think for, wherever you are coming from or whatever you are doing. So think that's a great opportunity. Yeah. Are you gonna put the details in the podcast notes so

Track 1:

Yes, I'll put the details in the show notes, and then if people want to come and want to message me, I'm at Beth Good. Or if they want to drop me an email, I'm at mail@bethgood.com. Just if they're interested to find out a little bit more. I remember. Actually, when I used to review miscarriages of justice, going to a prison and seeing this guy who was in an open prison and he got all his washing done for him and all his ironing done for him, and he could go to the gym and he went out to work each day and could watch TV whenever he liked. And actually I could because I'd got young children at that stage. I felt there was a real freedom that came with that.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Ironically, not though.

Track 1:

I always wanted to swap plane's with him. I was like, oh, you've got it made here, mate. I've gotta go home after this really long day in Northumberland, or whether I was and do the washing and the cooking and the cleaning and everything. So it's not fair to liken it to that, but I think my point is that as women, unless we carve out the time to go and do that stuff intentionally, it doesn't happen. It just, it doesn't happen. And there's something about being held by other women who you trust and putting yourself in their space and in their energy, and them guiding you throughout the day and inviting you to do things if you want to, but saying you don't have to. If you don't, it just gives you a chance to take the. Tightness off your chest and just to breathe and relax and put, let your shoulders go down and just find yourself again. And I'm not sure if I've explained that very well, but it came from the heart. So it's the best I.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

No, I think you have, I think it's one of those things that you kind of think, I'm not sure the good that'll do me. But when you've done it, you go, oh my days. Yes. That was so good. It is just a case of doing it once and realizing how valuable it is.

Track 1:

It's a bit like cold water swimming. You go, the thought of that is actually sounds really quite hideous. I never want to do it. And then you do it and go, that was amazing. I wanna do it all the time. It's that kind of thing, isn't it?

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Anticipation of, you know, what it'll bring,

Track 1:

Yeah, I look forward to chatting to people about that if they would like to. But anyway, my love, I need to let you go. You've got to do the final bits before your holiday.

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

Got to do my snack box. Gonna do my snack box. That's gonna bring me joy, my snack

Track 1:

Do your snack box. Have you? Have you got your in your suitcase?

squadcaster-8f27_1_01-31-2024_141839:

my Grundy. I just need to weigh the suitcase. I bought some lovely little things to put my shampoo and conditioner in, which stick to my shower. I mean, I buy them every time I go on holiday, but it's my kind of going holiday. So yes, but I will be back next week. Just a short break, which is gonna be amazing.

Track 1:

Well, you have a lovely time and I look forward to chatting to you in real life and on here as soon as.

This is the place where I say all of the things which I should have said during the podcast episode, but which I forgot. So first of all, thank you so much for joining me today. I hope that you enjoyed the episode. If there's anything that you would like me to cover in future episodes, please just let me know. If there was anything that I mentioned and that you'd like more details about, whether it is a resource or a code for a product, just take a look in the show notes. I will be sure to have mentioned it there, and if you would like to subscribe to the podcast so that you get notified as soon as future episodes are ready, then please just hit the subscribe button now. Thanks so much once again. Have a super week and I will see you again soon. Bye for now.