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Shifting Gear In The New Year - Empty Nests, Ian Hislop, Gary Barlow, Brandy Melville & Mock Exams

• Beth Goodrham

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Do you find shifting gear after Christmas & the New Year Challenging? Grown up children head back to their lives and the hall is bare without their shoes. It's like taking a cold bath - a shock to the system - and then just as you get used to it, back they pop!

In this episode we're talking about how proprietorial we've become over our kitchens and laundry rooms, trips to Brandy Melville with the teens (if you've not been there yet you must go - not!) what revision for mock exams looks like these days (it's VERY different to the 80s) and crushes on Ian Hislop & Gary Barlow.

To get a 20% discout at Stripe & Stare use the code BGOOD20.
Come and say hi to Beth on Instagram over at BethGoodrham
Head over to Beth's website HERE and her YouTube Channel HERE
And you can find Libby on Instagram HERE

See you next week! 

Beth & Lib

 


Hi, I'm Beth, and this is my podcast, A Friend in Your Ear. Friends are so important in our lives. They support us through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. They give us the space to grow and the grace to fail. They are our biggest cheerleaders when we are our harshest critics. They are not just here for us, but they're here with us. And that's what this podcast is all about, being a friend in your ear. I'm a lawyer turned stylist and fashion blogger who built a successful styling business. And now I work from home running an online business. I spend a lot of time reading books, listening to audio books and listening to podcasts. My favourite podcasts offer me advice, comfort, support, wisdom and fun when my real life friends are busy. And this is a place where I can take what I've learnt and deliver it in a way that hopefully makes your life easier, gives you something to ponder and brings a little joy to your day. Think of this as a chat with a friend, a place where you can come to reminisce for nostalgia, a giggle and a place to find answers to something that might be bothering you. So whether you're out on a run or a walk, on the school run, being a taxi to your kids or grandkids, on a Zoom meeting with your microphone muted or sitting with a glass of something cold in your hand, welcome to the A Friend in Your Ear podcast.

Track 1:

Hi, and welcome to another episode of a Friend in Your Ear. I am joined again this week by my lovely friend, Libby. I've decided I prefer having her on the podcast and having to go solo and talk on my own. I mean, I absolutely love her anyway, and she's very wise and she's very funny, and it's just nice to have a chat that we can share with you. There might be something that we touch on that gives you a bit of a giggle or a snigger, or that you can identify with. That's really what we are here to do is just provide some light entertainment when it is so needed in life, especially on these cold January winter days, when frankly all we want is a little bit of sunshine. Not too keen to get the beach bod out, but you know, a little bit of sunshine and some warmth would be lovely.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

You are absolutely right. Oh, Beth, that's such a lovely introduction. I feel like you've turned into one of my heroine podcasts Elizabeth Day, saying to Elizabeth, in my eyes, she's brilliant. Um, but she does the most gorgeous introductions to all her guests, and I feel like I've just been Elizabeth Day, so thank you. Yeah,

Track 1:

You remember time we met her.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes. And she's so beautiful and am of the petite and she's beautiful and tall. And I say that with all kind of goodness because I would quite like to be a little bit taller if the truth be told. And I just, do you remember? I don't know what came over me. I'd like to think I'm usually quite cool with. We were standing there and I recognized her and I think I just said to you and what I thought was some sort of whisper was actually one of those like Miranda Hart type, I'm actually talking. It's her. She's so tall. I think it was a new, like, looked at me in horror. I think it was because I thought she was so tall she'll be able to hear me'cause I came up to her knees. But anyway, she was, it do remember she was so gracious and we went to her afterwards. Um.

Track 1:

was lovely. We were standing in a queue behind her. Elizabeth, she's so tall. And I was like, yes. And she can hear you. And then I think we, we said hello to her, didn't we? And because

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yeah.

Track 1:

I'm Beth, you are Libby. We are both Elizabeth. She's an Elizabeth. We were like, oh, we're the three Elizabeths. We got photos with her and she was lovely. I, I wouldn't really put myself up there with her in terms of podcast introductions, but heartfelt.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Take it. Take it sister. It's all yours. I'm trying Remember that is when bought the pants. I

Track 1:

Yes,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

I'm taking it down to underwear already, but,

Track 1:

yes.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

um. I bought some for my, they were packing them up. It was the first time I'd come across them and you'd been saying how great they were. And I bought some packed up for my daughter who was away at that time, and I sent'em to her and I bought some for me. And frankly, at the risk of sounding very naff, I've never looked back. Beth. Rhythm, stripe and stare.

Track 1:

No, never looked back. It was, it was an event and the dressing room were there who are a beautiful boutique in St. Bans and they stock stripe and stair.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes. Yes.

Track 1:

I'd been wearing them and we had a little chat about them, didn't we? You had some. And now neither of us wear anything other than Stripe and Sta knickers. And did you see I put on Instagram, their body? In fact, you've got one of their bodies, haven't you?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Ohy. Oh, I need to out.

Track 1:

Really comfortable, really soft, really warm. Love the knickers. Got draw floors of them. And ladies, let's just drop this in whilst we're on the subject. I do have a 20% discount for stripe and stair. Underwear and the code is be good. 20, which I quite liked as a code. It kind of made me snigger.'cause let's not be good. Let's be bad, but be good. 20 and oh, do you know Liv? I'm part of their affiliate program and I am not a girl for getting badges and awards and accolades, but I love doing the little missions that they set. So I am now an inspirational, which means I get 20% off to pass on you guys and I. There's loads of people in the country who've got the 20% off code. Most people get 10%.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

if you're a nerdy geek like me, and you like a badge and you like collecting points, then I've got 20% off to give to you all, which is actually a decent state. I'm, I'm all about the 20% and above personally. Otherwise I'm like, yeah, it's

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Mm-Hmm.

Track 1:

But 20% and above I think is good. So ladies, if you need new knickers, if you've hit that time of year or a body or jams or vests. A look.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Absolutely, and I'm gonna plug your podcast as well because you interview the lady who started it, um, on one podcast and it's really interesting, really inspirational. And I'm not particularly entrepreneurial, but I just really found her really interesting. And for those of you, as we all are more and more who are into more sustainability, et cetera, that's really interesting in how they make them. And we have a friend who does, um, used to teach and used to do actually the DCSE, curriculum, didn't she, she used to write it about sustainable textiles, and we were telling her about. What strip and stay use, and she was like, golly, that is really cutting edge. That's what we've been talking about. So it it, they're not just doing the, what's it called when you just kind of put a label on it, but you're not signaling green signaling or something. Is it washing or signaling something? Yeah, but they're, they're not, you know, they're not doing that. They're brilliant and they come in all shapes and.

Track 1:

Yes,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Tell me if she, I won't go any further.

Track 1:

we

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

like,

Track 1:

issues. One day we'll do a tummy issues podcast

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yeah.

Track 1:

issues.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

No, no. But I would just say their body, I was worried about,'cause I don't like things, uh, cross, um, my tummy, but actually so soft, I'm sounding like an oil of ole advert. So soft and keeps you warm and snug. So I'll just shut up now'cause I don't think I should be in advertising. I just sound like a prawn.

Track 1:

No you don't. Alright. They will. The girls with Stripe and Stair will love to hear that there's people out there who love wearing their products as as much as we do. So, yes, be good 20 for your little code. And that podcast episode was, oh, it was about last March now. And it was great, Katie. It was amazing, aspirational, and it was a lot of fun to chat to her. But this week we've got a few little topics we thought we would cover, haven't we? Lib? And the first one is about settling back to life or into life in the new year. Now that life is sort of getting back to normal and that will look like different things for different people, depending on what age and stage you are in life. But for me, it looks like my oldest daughter going back to university to. No, not university to work. She's actually graduated and now has a job. Beth, so she's nearly 25. She's gone back to work. My son has gone back to university, so it's, there's just the three of us left in the house now, myself, my husband and I now 16-year-old. And one thing that I really noticed, and I took a photograph of this, was I was walking down the stairs before they'd all gone back and I'd put everyone's. Shoes on the stairs, and we almost reached the first, our stairs. Kind of go up a few steps and turn around and you know, go back on yourself. I'd almost reached the first landing and then the day after they'd gone, the stairs were empty.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Oh,

Track 1:

And I was like, everyone's gone. It's quiet. There's no shoes on the stairs, which in some ways is amazing'cause you can walk up and down the stairs without taking your life in your hands.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

But on the other hand, it's just different and quiet and it takes a while to settle back into that, doesn't it?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yeah, it's like, it's that slightly kind of, it's quite nice to have the house back to yourself so when you leave things they don't move or other things don't disappear. Or in my case, my clothes don't magically disappear. Or my sweaty Betsy running socks. How annoying do not disappear. But on the other hand, there is that little bit. Oh it is. It is a bit quiet. It's a bit funny. It's like I need to. down back into this and get used to it a bit more. And I think that's the case whether live with people and they've disappeared or whether, whatever it is, getting back into January, isn't it? It's a bit like getting into a cold bath, getting up to getting up again, going to work if you're going back to work, and then you kind of get used to it and it doesn't seem so cold anymore. But I think this week it's been the Cold Bath.

Track 1:

It has been the Cold Bath, and then there's also another cold bath, which is when everybody then comes back because you've just got used to one cold bath and you kind of vibing with that and you get used to their piece. And it's not that I don't love having everybody back. I do. That's what I was put on this earth to do, is to have everyone around me and to nurture them and love them and cook for them and look after them. But it is still a bit of a shock to the system because. Unlike when they were little and it was little Diddy Babygros, you were washing and little Diddy shoes in the hall. Everything is so much bigger, so it's like five adults in the house now. Whereas when we moved to this house, it was very much two adults and three children, and now it's like five adults and there's, it's great'cause there's, there's noise and there's the fan and there's the banter. But I think. It's the stuff for me. And it's not that they're messy, it's just that inevitably there is more stuff and there's also more shopping to do and more cooking to do, all of which I love. But it just takes a little while to shift and go, oh,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

I'm not in this role anymore. Sort of mum of one. And we can box some cocks a bit on the food. When there's five of you. It is, oh, we need a proper menu and proper meals all the time. And it's just a different role, isn't it?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

It is quite weird and I've had the new thing of my eldest coming home with her boyfriend they've then take taken over the kitchen and cooked, which is lovely. They're very gracious. They'll cook for whoever wants to be in there. all my days I felt this kind of. I don't know, 1950s housewife. This is my kitchen and this is my abo. And it's like, no, it's really nice to have people to cook, actually this really weird, I guess it's a territorial type thing about my kitchen. It's like that's a bit weird. So getting used to going, yeah, go and cook. Yeah, that's absolutely fine. Yeah. Whatever you're cooking, that's fine. Whereas In term time when she's not here, when other people aren't here, I can't get people to cook for love nor money. So it's really weird. Like you say, you kind of go, oh, I'm really looking forward to it. And then when something happens, I'm looking forward to everybody coming home, or I'm looking forward to having someone else over to cook. And then when it happens, there's this slight thing in you that goes, oh, this is a bit irritating. And so you, it's kind of that conflict of emotions, isn't it? And now I feel like this week is a real conflict, emotions. And then you, you get back into it, but you had a birthday thrown into the mix. Woo.

Track 1:

We did have a birthday. I'll come on to the birthday in a second because the other point I was going to make, the thing that I'm even more territorial about is my laundry room.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Oh yes.

Track 1:

And I like the laundry room to look a certain way. I'm not bothered as to whether I actually do the laundry or not. I'm very happy for everyone to wash their own things, but then when my laundry room is clogged up with their stuff, which is perfectly, totally 100% utterly reasonable because they have done the laundry,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

I'm like,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

clean laundry, not dirty.

Track 1:

is it's clean? They're amazing. But I look at my surfaces and I'm like. Who's put that pile of socks, that bit of that surface does not get used for socks. That has to be clear for my whole system to run.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

And I had my elderly aunt and uncle come a while ago, and I remember saying to my aunt the, I showed her my laundry room, she'd not seen it before. And I said. Oh, pep look. This is the laundry room. This is the engine room of the house. And she looked at me and she smiled and she nodded. And my uncle said, said, what do you mean? And we kind of rolled our eyes at one another. I was like, no, but this is the engine room. Because not only is there the washer and the dryer in there, but there's a fridge in there. There's the cleaning products, there's the vases for the, there's everything in there. And it is just like this little hub.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

And I love it in there, but if it's messy, I get really stressed. So kitchen, I'm happy to relinquish a bit more control there as long as people tidy up, which they do. I'm sure my kids, certainly my eldest daughter will listen to this and I don't want her to walk away and think, you hate it when I come home and you hate it when I cook and you hate it when I'm in the laundry. It's not that. It's just different,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yeah.

Track 1:

it?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yeah. It's a different gear. It's just getting used to it, and then we get used to it and love it, and then they all disappear.

Track 1:

Yeah, and then we're really sad for a bit, so we have to have random conversations like this to fill the gaps.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Exactly.

Track 1:

But

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

out what

Track 1:

yes,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

like. Fill the gap.

Track 1:

we had a birthday, we have two birthdays in January. So you, you mentioned that we'd had a birthday, so we go from Christmas day a week later. It's New Year's day. Week after that, we have the first birthday and our, our youngest was 16 and then two weeks later we have another birthday. So actually January's quite a fun month for us. It's interspersed with birthdays, but as your youngest is,'cause as of the same age and really close friends, they've both got mocks at the moment. And my daughter was going back to school the day after her birthday, which was the first day of mocks. And she was a bit like, oh mum. No one's gonna want to do anything on my birthday. It's a Monday. It's the day before mock start and I said, okay, why didn't we go to London on Saturday, which is what we did last year with you and with your daughter, which was an amazing day out. I said, let's go to London. We'll go and see your sister. Let's go and hang out in London. Well, two words, Brandy freaking Melville, which is three words.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

I think,

Track 1:

I knew I was doing it at the time, but I was still gonna run with it. I swear when I'm in there and put things on Instagram, I get more interaction from other mums who have been through what I'm going through at that point than virtually any other content I put out there. I get so many messages like I've been there. I hate that shop or what is it about it? But the best, do you know? The best thing about it? And there's one thing I think they've got, right?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

tempt

Track 1:

They, they were playing music that I recognized

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

Tracy Chapman and Eurythmics,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

you

Track 1:

and I said, I said to tos, I love this music. I revised my entire law degree to this, these albums. It's brilliant. So I was happy to be in there. But what about you and Brandy Melville or the other one? Subdued.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Subdued. Well, remember the trip we did, we were supposed to do our daughters in this summer. Not last summer, I think it was. Was it last summer? I can't remember. Anyway, and then you had Covid, so. You rudely anything to get outta subdued? I think so. You and your lovely elder daughter and me took the younger girls we had a lovely day. It was really, really, really hot. But it was the fir, I think it was the first time I'd ever been into Brandy Melville, and I was just so intimidated and. You know, I, let's say I'm over 50'cause I am over 50. Um, I was just so intimidated by everybody and all these girls and the clothes that were like would've fitted my dolls, but not anybody else. And I remember just sitting on a bench, just being terrified of everybody. I did ask an assistant where I could find a particular jumper. Well, I don't think she'd been through any particular charm school, but she was very cool and maybe I was a bit intimidating. I dunno. I just remember sitting on a bench just being really, really scared and intimidated and having to pull myself because I think it was just full of girls all at the same age. And I think there is, it's horrible being a teenage girl, isn't it? Because you do feel a bit insecure. So they have this kind of slightly hardened, you know, Defensive face don't, don't they. Which is not their own fault, it's just what they're going through. I just remember seeing like literally all these girls just like looking at me with this kind of, yeah, whatever. And I was like, oh my days, this is so scary. And your elder daughter came and found me and I was like in the back of the shop on a bench. And she was like, are you all right? And I was like, this is a really scary shop,

Track 1:

Well, she finds it really scary. She's nearly 25. So actually it was the two of you on that trip, wasn't it? It was a really hot day and I was at home being ill. So I was getting these messages and Flo will now say to. Mom, I hate going in Brandy Malva. I'm so scared. They look at me as if I'm almost one of them, but not quite because I'm a bit too old,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

yes.

Track 1:

we're just clearly in the older box. But I love going in and seeing the other moms as well.'cause you kind of have a subtle nod together as if they, yeah. Here again,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

yes.

Track 1:

but this, time we had the pleasure and maybe you did when you took the girls on your own, but with Flo, the pleasure of going to two Brandy Melville. So not only did we do the Covent Garden one,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

no.

Track 1:

gotta do the Carnaby Street one as well.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

oh. You were just living the brandy dream, weren't you? Oh.

Track 1:

Absolutely. Absolutely.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Matilda's birthday last January, and some of the fun was just sitting on that bench just giggling and snorting and making funny, what we thought were absolutely hysterical. But the girls didn't insta stories about, not about the shop per se, but just about what it's like to be two mums in that shop. And there were loads of other mums I do remember that were kind of Giggling along, weren't they? So I think we, I think, yeah, I feel like I exercised my demons of Brandy, Mel And this is nothing against the shop or anything, it's just, it's just funny when you've got all those teenage girls in the same place.

Track 1:

In one place, although I do have to hold my hand up, don't I Lib, because I have now bought two items from Brandy Marvell. So I have, what shall we call it? Lib, shall we call it? A sweater vest, a tank top, a sleeveless jumper, whatever we want to call it. I've got a navy blue, one of those from there, which I like. And today I am wearing,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Full denim skirt.

Track 1:

oh yeah.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

a brut because it's a brandy skirt. I mean, it looks great. I've only seen it on camera, it, it looks great because I think the first time I went, all they seem to do was vest tops. Whereas now I think they have Maybe that was just my trauma. Whereas now they have branched out beyond size minus zero, and I think they've branched out to more close as well, haven't they?

Track 1:

They do have, uh, the odd pair of trousers in there now, and this denim skirt, I've realized that much is a lot of my career has been based around style and fashion. I'm actually a very lazy shopper and I kind of have an idea of what I would like, but I wait for it to find me. Whereas I know other people, we've got friends who are very focused and they'll go and hunt things down to get the perfect thing, and I'm just so lazy. I'm like. Oh, there's a Brandy Melville skirt, and that's sort of what I want. Let me try on Yeah, that's fine. That will do. And or maybe, maybe I'm being a bit harsh. Maybe I've got a bit of an innate sense one might hope, and now I'm 53 years old of knowing what I'm looking for, but I, I'm not someone who can spend hours trolling sight looking for things. It, it will find me in the end and the, and the skirt, the.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

I quite like that. That it finds you. Yeah. I think it's also just going, oh, well, I'm in a shop that I would never imagine that I would buy anything from, but I quite like that, so I'm just gonna try it on. What's the worst that can happen? I look ridiculous in a changing room, but that's fine, isn't it?

Track 1:

Yeah, I don't care about things like that at all. And I have the theory, I have a theory lib, you know, I have many theories in life. Having traveled around the world at the age of 22, I have shocked my way around the world on my 10 pound a day budget, which had to include food and accommodation. And I have concluded that I can go into most shops, find something that I like.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Well, I think that's a gift. Let's, let's hold that one up. I think, not a gift that my husband would appreciate in me, I think No, but I think it's that you are good at that when I've shopped with you, just like. Picking out the bits, picking out not being taken in by the, oh, my days are so much, but just learning to go to witch rack and pick it out. Um, and just, but also being a bit brave, but yeah, no, I would, I'll take, I'll give, I'm not gonna take that. I'm gonna give that take the compliment I'm just giving to you.

Track 1:

I don't mind if you do. I. I'm not sure I'm capable of that, but anyway, after Brandy and Subdued, we did well. We have to go and do Anita's gelato, even though it's freaking freezing in January, but so we had that little trip. You need a mortgage to buy one of their ice creams. But I did find a sugar free ice cream that was hazelnut, which was very nice. Now, this episode will go out after I've done my Insta Live, I think, on keto lifestyle. But I'm doing these little Insta lives every Sunday. So if anyone ever wants to come tune in and see what I'm doing at seven o'clock on Insta, they're welcome to. And actually, Libby, I earmarks you for one. You didn't know that. I'm just sharing that with you right now.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Thank you so much. I really like it because it's that time of the evening when you're getting to bit of Monday Blues. No, not Monday Blues Sunday Night Blues or whatever blues they are, and I'm often making supper, so I prop you up against the cooker

Track 1:

I'm glad to be propped up against anyone's cooker and I know that your youngest has watched me as well.'cause she takes a screenshot and sends it to my youngest and goes, oh, I've been watching your, so I get these random. Photos. But anyway, back to Anita's. So yes, they had a sugar-free ice cream, which was very nice, I have to say, hazelnut flavor. And then after that it was just various more wandering in teenage type shops that have been spotted on Georgie fizz on YouTube or have been seen on TikTok because basically. If it hasn't been spied on TikTok, it doesn't exist,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

No.

Track 1:

which is why our fridge suddenly became full of Mully yogurt. I since

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

yeah. But I've seen them on TikTok. They're great. Oh, okay.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

It must be true, be true. I have to say though, your younger daughter is, if I'm gonna go on a trip, I will go with her because she researches, she knows where she wants to go. She's very I think is the word, isn't it? So it's really quite useful.'cause you can often pitch up saying, go say, I'm going to go to London and do some shopping and not know where you're going. But when you are with her, you know where you're going and you know where they are. And I think that's, I think it's a good skill to have actually. I think I was gonna take my younger daughter. For a bit of a break and I, she was like, I'm gonna tilter it, which kind of basically means I'm gonna research it and find out where we're gonna go. So it's kind of become a verb now, I think, which

Track 1:

It would be, I think it's fair to say that, yes, definitely about holidays. I think it would be nice if we could transition that over into one's revision for. That research element, that knowing where we are going, what we're doing, how we're gonna get there, how it's all gonna fit together, those skills, I must try and explain to her that those skills, actually this is a good one. Lib. Thanks for this top tip. Those skills are transferable.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

should she like to transfer them to her revision for her upcoming GCSEs.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

How could, how would that look? Let's transfer. When you get into that paper, how are you gonna make your way round that chemistry paper or whatever?

Track 1:

Well, I think even the approach to revision,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes,

Track 1:

just the general tenor of, shall we have a plan?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

yes,

Track 1:

might be quite a good start.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

My brother always used to say, I'm not sure whether I'm doing revision or vision because I don't think I've learned this for the first time. So, and the other one, it was quite funny. I was chatting to a colleague at work. His son thinks revision is cheating Because,

Track 1:

Why?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

well, yeah. It's quite interesting. I, I can't believe he really does because he did really, really well in his gtt. So either he's supremely bright or he must have done something, but he says, actually you should go into the exam not having checked up what you know, but they should test your, what you kind of know what you've learned as opposed to going back and relearning it'cause that's cheating. So I thought take,

Track 1:

Oh.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

I'm be sharing with my. GCSE taking.

Track 1:

Let's put it to the test in May.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

No, I think let's let someone else put that to the test. it's quite interesting, isn't it, the whole revision and how they do it. I was just saying to my daughter last night, and I think, you know, she's the third to do it, but I've really noticed with her, I think her school is a lot more IT savvy, they went through the whole of Covid and they pivoted is the word to, um, online stuff. And I just said Where are your, where do you have exercise books? Because we used to have a textbook and an exercise book. And where have I do? If you forgot any for the lesson, then you take your notes in your exercise book and in my case, color coded underlining. Oh yeah, proper heading. Subheading, red green. Um, video wasn't so good on the knowledge, but anyway, where's your. Do you have a textbook? No, it's just all on my iPad on Showbie or something. I was like, what about the notes you take in lessons? Have you got an exercise book? No, we don't really have an exercise book. And I, I, I think she's at, you know, don't you think she's trying to wriggle out herself? It's all like online. It's just a wholly different. So then how are you revising? Well, I've written a mind map. Oh, okay. What the freak does that mean and how are. From your mind map? Well, it's a mind map, so I already know it so it's like, so I felt like I was gonna, this Alice Wonderland hole of revision of everything I knew from my frame of reference to be revision. It's just totally different, I feel. Yeah, I feel really old. Um, have you found that?

Track 1:

Absolutely. We were talking about it this morning when we were out for a little bit of a potter, and I find it very unsettling that I can't see a whole ream of notes

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

or even a mind map, which is very new in my I've, in fact, I've seen your daughters and they're impressive. And I'm saying, how, how are you actually revising? Well, I'm using Quizlet,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

it, which is the little online cards, isn't it? And but I actually think we were having this discussion that when we were doing O Levels, it was all about learning the entire syllabus.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Mm-Hmm.

Track 1:

Writing an answer and the examiner would be the one to decide whether what we'd said was right or not. Whereas now it seems that they are taught to know the keywords and the buzzwords to use and the answers, and they're taught how to answer questions. And the examiner doesn't have a lot of discretion. So you could write a brilliant answer, but if it's not what the examiner's called to look for, it's not going to be right. So it's a real different emphasis. It's more about. How do I answer these questions to get the marks as opposed to let me cram my brain full of everything that I know and then try and regurgitate it in a way that the examiner approves and gimme lots of marks.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes. Yeah,

Track 1:

I think I'm trying to catch up with that shift, and I almost have to really trust that they're strategic enough and they've been taught well enough to know what the aim is. Even though I can't see a thing, I feel like I'm walking through a dark tunnel and you know me, I'm a really hands-off. I'm not helicopter parent, but it's more watching them struggle and go, I haven't done enough revision or. I'm gonna have to get up earlier. I'm gonna have to stay up late and me just going, oh, flip me. This is, comes down to just managing your time better as much as anything else.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

it's, I think it's really hard and I imagine it's gonna get more like that. It's, it's the, what's it called, the marking scheme. They have to know the marking scheme.'cause once

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

scheme,

Track 1:

And you.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Then you can pass anything. You don't have to know anything else. Whereas I did Latin O level. I dunno why I think one of my siblings told me it was easy and I couldn't really work out how to translate it. So all I did was we had a set text, I learned set text. Off wrote like it was lines learning for a play. And then I just had trigger words. And if they gave me a trigger word, I could just translate it and I got an A because literally I just regurgitated it. Whereas I don't think you could get away with that anymore because, so in some respects, in some respects it's better'cause they're learning how to use the knowledge, but in other respects it's not because they're just learning to the test, aren't they?

Track 1:

Yeah. Yeah. It's the marking they know inside out that's a five marker. And if it's a

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

yes,

Track 1:

A, B, C, D. Which is a totally alien concept to me because we would get the exam paper and at the bottom it would say two marks and you'd think, okay, I need to write enough to get two marks. But you didn't know how.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

You just needed to know that you needed to start writing and not stop until they said put your pens down. I think it was just, and I was quite nerdy, but not very not, not nerdy enough to know, don't just regurgitate everything. Libby, think about what you're going to, yeah, I don't, I dunno. Part of me thinks they have a bit of a freedom growing up as a girl in the seventies, I feel like we always had to be good girls and keep on top of everything. I never had the confidence to go, yeah, that's okay. Whereas I said to My daughter yesterday. What about your classics exam? yeah. Got that covered. Yeah. Don't need to do any Eurovision. Got it covered. I'm like, what are those words? What are those words? You know, when someone says, what do you do? And I sell them and then I say, oh, you, you must like your job. Yeah. I dunno anything about it. I don't want anything about it. You know? Never would I say about anything. Knowledge-wise got it covered. Whereas quite confidence I think, whether it's, whether it's, um, a sure thing, whether it's not, I feel like. That's not a bad thing. Whereas I wouldn't have even dreamed of saying that.'cause we said this before, those horrible, really insidious phrases that I think we use too much for children in the seventies and eighties. The kind of, don't get too big for your boots, stride comes before a ball. And all those that are really, that really resonate. If I was to say that Whereas I think I like their confidence. Yeah. Perhaps they need to back their confidence up a little bit more with more mind maps, more quizlets, more showbie, whatever. But I like the fact that they don't feel embarrassed to make those statements. Even if in the background, my helicopter is crashing because I'm, you are so much better. And I've learned so much about parenting from you. find, I find I get into my helicopter far too quickly and I need to just put my, put my big earphones down, take my helmet off, and get outside the cockpit.

Track 1:

It hard. It's really hard holding your nerve and thinking. It's going to come good.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

yeah.

Track 1:

It'll be fine. They will be fine because they will be, I actually think that the framework that they put in place when it comes to working in a coffee shop

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

and having some avocado on toast, or us having to go out and cater for them so that they're set up to have this confidence really helps. I dunno about you, but when I was revising, I had a tiny, tiny bedroom. In fact, I had a two foot six bed until I went to university. My bedroom wasn't even big enough for a single bed, and I used to have a fold up table at the end of my bed that I'd have to get out and I'd sit on my bed and revise. And my mum bless her, was really good. And if anything, she did a lot of reverse psychology and it was, oh, it's nine o'clock now. I think you need to come downstairs and watch some TV and things. But never would there have been any suggestion of. I'm, you know me, can you imagine? They'll go, oh, I'm going to go for a cafe Machu latte with a vanilla, and it, I'm, what the, is that what's wrong with some water? Work in the coffee shop and take my color coded pens.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes, had that so much. I need a new, I need a new environment, so I'm going to go to the coffee shop and that'll be fine. Or I need a new environment, so I'm going to do it with someone on FaceTime or I need a new candle.'cause the candle I've got is helping me. And bizarrely I've just had a text from, um. The exam taking daughter Lexi, she took an exam this morning and she's gone to a friend's house who lives around the corner to revise, and they've sent me a picture of'em sitting on the sofa with the dog between them revising I. Whereas, and I, you know, I look back, I was like a little cat on hot tin roof, I think is the expression. You know, as soon as I came out the exam, I didn't wanna talk to anyone, and I'll be back to the library being a bit nerdy, being a bit, you know, and I, I like the fact that you can go back to your friend's house, you can sit, I mean, it's like this beautiful picture of domestic bliss with a beautiful Labrador between you as you, you know, test each other on your history quotes. Really, I think you're just playing with the dog guys. but maybe that's okay. Maybe that means you won't go into your history of medicine exam this afternoon. Too stressed to remember it. Um, but

Track 1:

I'd like what's on their lunch menu?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Oh, that, yes. I'm sure there's something smashed on. A piece of sourdough

Track 1:

something smashed on sourdough with a sprinkle of something.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Chili. I kind of said it's exam week. Have you stocked up on avocados? Yes, I have literally wait. I'm like, can have mac cheese? That's good enough. So I do think they are, they do just have. Very different, very different lives. Whereas I was one of six kids, my siblings were annoyingly hardworking and had done really well. So it was just like, well just get on with it. Do you know what I mean? There's none of this gonna a coffee shop from Macata with sprinkled cinnamon. You just like sit, sit in your bedroom and get on with it and frankly, nothing's gonna impress us. So you might as well.

Track 1:

There was nothing in my village. I think the only place you could have got a hot drink in our village was the the local dress agency, or some lady who used to make curtains or take up dresses for you. She had a little corner with a Welsh dresser and some cakes on, but it was deathly silent in there and anyone who went in was probably over the age of 75 and had a blue. So it was not a cool place to hang out to get you. Vegan cake with your mafia, frappuccino, whatever, with your shot of vanilla latte

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

I love it. Just'cause you're recharging. Recharging. I'm like, you have to charge up before you can recharge. You have the charge has to go down. We seem to do a lot of recharging we've actually run out of charge. I would

Track 1:

There seems to be, yes. I mean, if they were cars, frankly they would have enough charge them electric cars to go the world 14 times. But I'm not seeing the battery being drained that much.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes. Yeah, I think a little bit more draining. I don't think we've quite, I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. I'm gonna have to stop. We've, you've only been out it for 20 minutes, It's funny, but I do like that. I do think probably. For their emotional health, they're probably better for it.

Track 1:

I am sure they are, and I'm sure they're, they're much more balanced and they've got us around to go and buy them avocados, to soothe their nerves. I mean, there's nothing worse than doing exams. It is hideous. So. Younger girls. If any of you two happen to be listening to this, which hopefully you you won't because busy watching and telling us what we need even though it's been on the shelves for at least 62 years.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

I think also it's that time in your life saying, saying time in life when you know most.

Track 1:

Oh yeah, that was my great theory. That was another great.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

I'll definitely attribute that to you. And it's that actually, guys, it will get easier after this because you'll learn things that you're interested in whereas at this stage, you're having to do so much that you're not interested in that's quite

Track 1:

Yeah, but.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

your brain isn't fully developed'cause you have 15, 16 years old. Your hormones are all over the place. It really is a cruel time to make them learn so much, isn't it?

Track 1:

It's a cruel time, but that little nugget of wisdom of mine is a double-edged sword, and it comes back to bite me on the bum because it's like, well, I know so much more than you do. What do you know? You did this in the olden days. Did you actually have pen and paper then, or were you.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

You dunno what you're talking about. You did so long ago. Yeah, it is. I don't know.

Track 1:

It's all changed now, mom? Well, no, actually, I don't think human biology has changed that much in 50 years. I think it's probably fairly similar the way we went. No, but you don't understand it. Oh, right. Okay. So that's why I know what the aorta and the pulmonary vein does, and you.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

But you don't understand the marking scheme. No. they're funny. be quite glad when they're over. Uh,

Track 1:

We've got a long haul this year. They haven't even begun yet.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

I know. is like, I think we just have to grab our little. Little pockets of joy when they come.

Track 1:

We do find it quite amusing as well, don't we?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

I think. Yeah.

Track 1:

Was there anything else you wanted to wrap up with today? Because I feel like we've chatted for a while and although we've had a great time, I.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

We've definitely, I don't think we did because I think we wanted to talk about what it was like just getting back into life. Like, because this week was really, everybody was back, wasn't we? And I feel we've, we've done that. We've talked about the girls and sniggered at their

Track 1:

We've done.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

We've done brandy, we've done strips there. I think we've comprehensively, I think covered everything. I think the word of the week, my word is curious. someone, yes. Trying to be curious about people's reactions. Not angry. Work in progress on that one. I quite like that it's a Ted Las, uh. I can't remember it, but I'll paraphrase it. Don't judge people. Be curious. And I think that's quite, even if people respond in a funny way or if you're cross about something or you don't agree, I'm trying to get, oh, I'm gonna be more curious and ask more questions and understand that reaction rather than, um, judge it. Um, and let's just say, I'm not sure I've got the marking scheme right.

Track 1:

You know what I. You know what I'm curious about the word curious because everyone keeps using it and I dunno what it means in most contexts. It's like I'm sober curious and I'm this curious and I'm that curious. I'm like, does that just mean you want to know more about that

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yeah.

Track 1:

or. Yeah, the dots don't always join for me on the curious, but I get what you've said, like I'm curious about that response. Why did somebody behave in that way? Let's look it up. Let's see what else it might mean. And maybe I just need to translate that. But everything is something curious these days, so it's almost become a concept in its own right. But I'm not sure what the concept

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

no. Oh, that's totally past me by, just like. Yeah. Instead of reacting, ask questions. Inquisitive, I think. But yeah, you're right. It has become,

Track 1:

So what does sober curious mean? What? What does it mean to be sober? Well, it means you just don't drink, doesn't it? What's curious about that?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yeah.

Track 1:

I.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

curious, I'm curious to find out what it means to be sober. Well, you won't have a in the morning. And you won't get all fuzzy'cause your blood won't be full of alcohol and you might extend your life. But does it need, do you need to be curious about it or do you just need to know from experience? Yeah, I think maybe it's a bit like one of those words being taken and is now being flogged to death, isn't it? We put it in everything.

Track 1:

Yes, because I can understand someone who hasn't drank before. So like one of our 15 year olds? No, no. Mine's now 16 to go. I'm curious to know what it's like

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

to get drunk. She's not done that before, so I'm, that's where the curiosity comes in. It's like, well, okay.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

interested to know or I'm inquisitive about that experience.

Track 1:

Yes, but if, but to be sober curious, someone will pick me up on this and say, how can you not know that? But if I don't know, other people won't know it. What if you spend most of your life not drinking, then you know what it's like to be sober. So why would you be so curious? Because most times we have to drive somewhere or we have to do something. It means we can't have just downed a bottle, something. So I know what it's like to be sober because I spend 99.9% of my life over. I'm not curious about that.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

no. And if, if you haven't spent most of your life sober, frankly you shouldn't be curious. You should just be embracing it. um, where did you, where did you see the phrase, you're so up there with your reading of

Track 1:

Um, no, I dunno. Any of the cool phrases, you know all of them because of what you do for work. You come out with all these phrases and then you tell me you make laugh of them up. They sound really impressive. It's almost like you need your own little guidebook for Libby's language. I dunno. I read it on Instagram somewhere and I.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Oh, think so. Be, oh, I'm gonna look for more curious words now. Um, yeah.

Track 1:

Being curious.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yes.

Track 1:

Sure. End on the note of curiosity. Did that kill the cat?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

yes, don't forget, and was the guy killed?

Track 1:

Dunno.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Oh, he had a little hat on. I quite liked him. Do you remember Curiosity? Killed the cat,

Track 1:

Oh yeah.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

band? Yeah. Anyway,

Track 1:

Ang, but I, I, curiosity killed Cat.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Anyway, on that,

Track 1:

Were you going somewhere with that? Apart from the fact he wore a funny little hat and you quite liked him, that was the end of the story.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

my pathway and I can't be bothered to be curious about the pathway. So I'm coming back into land

Track 1:

Well, he sounds better than one of your latest crushes that you've got, which I'm not gonna share with everyone'cause frankly it's too embarrassing. But if you want to, you can

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Are we talking about the granny in his, the great e in Hislop here.

Track 1:

Sadly, we are.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Well, I'm out and proud about my e in Hislop Crush. Yeah. So you can eat your words, eat your words. He's a very funny, very intelligent man. He's, he's, I'm not, I'm not taking the mickey outta him, so I'm just gonna leave it.

Track 1:

It's looks. You don't actually know him as a person. Like I've got this whole thing about getting to know people and then falling in love with them and then seeing them very differently, but you're not really gonna get to well enough to fall in with look him in love with.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

I like your curiosity. Um, and I'm not, I think falling in love is to take my relationship with Ian to a whole new level, I think I, I just, I've always found people who make me laugh and who, who have brains to be attractive

Track 1:

I get that,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

get that. Yeah.

Track 1:

but

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

But yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm thinking of lots of things to say, but they're probably not appropriate for me to say now. The heart goes where the heart goes, Beth

Track 1:

Well, this is the person that's loved Gary Lineker since the age of about 14. And all those people who jumped on the bandwagon, I didn't buy that. And now a lot of them are jumping off again.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

you are on.

Track 1:

But I still like Gary. I, I had a whole stash of stuff under my bed that was to do with Gary. I was gutted the day he got married to Michelle

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Michelle. Yes. That was a

Track 1:

Gutted.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Four

Track 1:

It was,

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yeah.

Track 1:

it was him or Nick Kershaw.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Oh, not Gary Barlow. No. Gary Barlow was later, wasn't he?

Track 1:

Oh, Gary Barlow was later. I do, I do quite like Gary Barlow.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

no.

Track 1:

Oh yeah.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Robbie Williams and Ian Slop. I mean, that's my pairing, and checking Elizabeth Day for my girl crush. And I've got a perfect T. There you go,

Track 1:

And on that note, shall we wind it up for the day?

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Libby. You won't be invited back. Goodbyes,

Track 1:

Again, I've loved having you on the show.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Oh.

Track 1:

Shall we call it a show on the episode? I haven't seen you for at least 24 hours, so it's been really lovely chatting

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yeah.

Track 1:

you.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Thank you. Right back at you after a stressful morning. It Very nice to chat. So we hope has the effect other people.

Track 1:

Yes. We hope people like listening and that it's maybe given them a little laugh or they've got images of Ian, his lopp in their brain, or Brandy Melville, or.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Ornick one.

Track 1:

Knickers, yes, because we all need knickers in life, so

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Yeah.

Track 1:

why not think about our knickers? But anyway, ladies, thanks so much for listening. If you've made it this far, congratulations. You deserve a badge and an award of some description, And we plan to be back hopefully sometime next week with another update of interesting topics for discussion.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

or not so interesting

Track 1:

Just discussions on, on important world issues.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

always.

Track 1:

Right. We'll love you and leave you now lib. Let me hand over to you. Why don't you close, because I've just done a terrible close so you can jump in and say goodbye to everybody.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Okay, I will say goodbye. Thank you for listening and de subscribe if you've liked it. And another one will drop in your subscription box next week.

Track 1:

Take care ladies, lots of love, and we will see you again soon. Bye for now.

squadcaster-1c17_1_01-11-2024_120823:

Bye.

This is the place where I say all of the things which I should have said during the podcast episode, but which I forgot. So first of all, thank you so much for joining me today. I hope that you enjoyed the episode. If there's anything that you would like me to cover in future episodes, please just let me know. If there was anything that I mentioned and that you'd like more details about, whether it's a resource or a code for a product, just take a look in the show notes. I will be sure to have. Mentioned it there, and if you would like to subscribe to the podcast so that you get notified as soon as future episodes are ready, then please just hit the subscribe button now. Thanks so much once again, have a super week, and I will see you again soon. Bye for now.